7 Genius TV Show Ideas To Replace "Bake Off"

How good is your snake?

1.

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Bake Off for MEN. MEN cook steaks as Paul watches them with his ice-blue, unwavering gaze. Every now and then everyone gathers round to watch Paul flex his biceps. Some brave men may gain extra points by touching Paul’s biceps, although if he rebuffs them they lose 10 points. They then return to their benches to griddle some more.

2.

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Gardeners bring in their rakes, then perform increasingly challenging leaf-sweeping manouevres dreamed up by Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry.

3.

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A competition of snake beauty and agility. Incredible opportunities for Mel and Sue.

4.

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Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry travel round Britain judging lakes. Mel and Sue make lake-based innuendos, eg “Ooh, that’s wet,” or “That’s so wet,” or, when they’re paddling in the lake, “This lake’s making me wet.”

5.

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Bereaved Britons compete to organise the most British wake for their dead loved ones. Who’s wake will have the most awkward silences, under-seasoned Coronation Chicken, and soggiest cheese and cucumber sandwiches?

6.

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Paul Hollywood is replaced by Dr Christian Jessen from Embarrassing Bodies. British people compete to see who has the flakiest case of athlete’s foot.

7.

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Competitors construct basic flying machines out of dough. They bake them, but as added twist they then have to fly them off the roof of the Tent, which will be appropriately reinforced.