1. Santa Claus
This baby (with an amazing hat) knows what true evil lies behind those twinkling eyes and that snow white beard. “Santa Claus?” AS IF THAT IS EVEN YOUR REAL NAME YOU FOOL.
Out of a flower! What is more threatening than a flower? Apparently, a tiny ant. Oh, Brinkley.
3. Your Dreams
WHOAH HEAVY STUFF. (Unless your dreams are to fight a tiger or stuff 50 marshmallows into your mouth, because those are both pretty threatening).
IT’S RUINING HER LIFE.
As they say, pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil. Delicious evil.
5. Your Dog
Oh baby, you have so much to learn. One day you will be single and alone and poor and googling “french bulldogs” in New York and realize how lucky you had it.
Paedophobia is the fear of infants and young children.
Judging by “Belinda’s” “sweet” “face” we have nothing to fear…
Don’t move or it will gracefully flutter onto your cheeks and give you sweet tender butterfly kisses until you die.
Thought you were the only one? Turns out, there is a support group for people just like you.
“Every trip to the grocery store, every party, every day at
work or at school, we must walk with caution, living a life of almost constant
Rats! Robbers! Poltergeists! The Ghost of Christmas Past! IT COULD BE ANYTHING.