This Is Literally Bananas

AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

1. ‘Cause here are some boneless bananas.

All hail genetic engineering!

2. And a half cat, half banana hybrid.

Coming to supermarkets near you.

3. And some “should probably try OK Cupid” bananas.

Or maybe I need to try supermarket dating?

4. HOVER BANANAS ARE IN THE HALLWAY. RUN!

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.

5. I mean, ‘nanas can get bitey.

Always try to bite the banana before the banana bites you.

6. But there are ways of keeping them in check.

Thank God for the birds.

7. Just don’t fall for their stupid disguises.

ALWAYS BE VIGILANT.

8. But look, there are civilized bananas out there.

Ridiculous, but civilized.

9. Some of them are redheads.

OK, maybe that’s a wig.

10. Others are Portal fans.

11. Others are nice, but seriously confused.

This is a thing that exists.

12. *VERY* confused.

An identity crisis, possibly.

13. Confused bananas seek alternative forms of employment.

Any jobs out there, Nintendo?

14. Some of them opt for plastic surgery.

But seriously, that’s some fine work.

15. Other ‘naners just get tattoos.

I should get an appointment with this banana’s guy.

16. Say, is this a very large banana or a very small tortoise?

I’m betting on huge banana.

17. In other news, banana sex is awkward.

Speaking of huge bananas.

18. OH SHIT IT’S A BANANA MOB

I HAVEN’T GIVEN AWAY ALL OF YOUR SECRETS

19. HEY NOW CALM DOWN THERE

I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I won’t say anything else!

20. God, don’t get huffy with me now.

I’m tired of your crap, banana.

21. ANYWAY, want to know the reason we say “this is bananas” to express bewilderment? Bananas are seriously goddamned crazy.

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