1. They’re always ready to watch your favorite television program.
2. They will keep you safe from invading forces.
3. They’ll thoroughly check your food for traces of poison.
4. They’re totally game to go 4-wheeling on the weekends.
5. They understand you have certain base needs.
6. They’ll go with you to the spa, ‘cause they like to relax.
7. They’ll teach you the rudiments of magic.
8. And if you’re a good pupil, the advanced course too.
10. They love Shark Week just as much as you do. Perhaps even a little bit more.
11. They are totally punk rock. (Check out the mohawk, man!)
12. They heard you liek Mudkipz. Lulz.
15. Unlike other lizards, they know how to use a snowmobile.
16. They somehow manage to pull off this kind of hat.
17. They always dress up for Halloween.
18. And make their bed in the morning.
19. They’ll watch Ghostbusters as many times as you want.
20. They are pretty, pretty princesses.
In The News Today
- A Guatemalan judge ordered former President Otto Perez Molina held in jail overnight while hearings over the corruption scandal that led to his resignation take place. ›
- Britain is set to increase the number of refugees being let into the country. The extra people aren't in Europe already, they will likely come from UN camps bordering Syria. ›
- The Justice Dept. has tightened rules on cell phone tracking, forcing federal agencies to get a warrant. ›