1. They’re always ready to watch your favorite television program.
2. They will keep you safe from invading forces.
3. They’ll thoroughly check your food for traces of poison.
4. They’re totally game to go 4-wheeling on the weekends.
5. They understand you have certain base needs.
6. They’ll go with you to the spa, ‘cause they like to relax.
7. They’ll teach you the rudiments of magic.
8. And if you’re a good pupil, the advanced course too.
10. They love Shark Week just as much as you do. Perhaps even a little bit more.
11. They are totally punk rock. (Check out the mohawk, man!)
12. They heard you liek Mudkipz. Lulz.
15. Unlike other lizards, they know how to use a snowmobile.
16. They somehow manage to pull off this kind of hat.
17. They always dress up for Halloween.
18. And make their bed in the morning.
19. They’ll watch Ghostbusters as many times as you want.
20. They are pretty, pretty princesses.
Here Are The Top Stories
- Joe Biden has begun to "actively explore a possible presidential campaign," the New York Times reports.
- A conservation group in Zimbabwe reported that Jericho, the brother of beloved lion Cecil, was shot and killed by a hunter. But some scientists monitoring the pride believe he is OK.
- The trooper who pulled over Sandra Bland was disciplined for "unprofessional conduct" in the fall of 2014, records show.