1. They’re always ready to watch your favorite television program.
2. They will keep you safe from invading forces.
3. They’ll thoroughly check your food for traces of poison.
4. They’re totally game to go 4-wheeling on the weekends.
5. They understand you have certain base needs.
6. They’ll go with you to the spa, ‘cause they like to relax.
7. They’ll teach you the rudiments of magic.
8. And if you’re a good pupil, the advanced course too.
10. They love Shark Week just as much as you do. Perhaps even a little bit more.
11. They are totally punk rock. (Check out the mohawk, man!)
12. They heard you liek Mudkipz. Lulz.
15. Unlike other lizards, they know how to use a snowmobile.
16. They somehow manage to pull off this kind of hat.
17. They always dress up for Halloween.
18. And make their bed in the morning.
19. They’ll watch Ghostbusters as many times as you want.
20. They are pretty, pretty princesses.
In The News Today
- Austria and Germany will allow people seeking refuge from the war in Syria who are currently in Hungary to come to their countries. ›
- Rowan County, Kentucky, issued several marriage licenses today, but their validity is being questioned because jailed clerk Kim Davis's name isn't on them. ›
- U.S. Vice President Joe Biden said he isn't sure he has the "emotional energy" to run for president. ›