What It’s Like When You Try A New Lip Color

I don’t know…Will I actually wear it?

1. You walk into Sephora, lips nude (and sad). The workers stare at you.

♫The people don’t start staring ‘til you walk in…♫

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2. Maybe I should leave. My lips are making people uncomfortable.

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3. But waitwaitwait I came in for a reason.

You can do this.

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4. You walk in slowly.

Maybe no one will notice you.

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5. But inevitably, some perky Sephora girl will want to help.

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I guess you can’t blame her. She’s only doing her job.

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6. You can say no all you want, they’re still going to be attached to your leg until you leave.

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7. She’ll ask you what kind of lipstick you want.

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I don’t know. Isn’t that why you’re here?

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8. She’ll ask if you’d like to try something bold and new.

You’ll try it, just for the hell of things.

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9. She pulls out a terrible color.

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Honey, I don’t know if green lipstick works for you, but it doesn’t work for me.

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10. Another color.

“Camel” isn’t an appealing lip color name.

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11. You tell her that you aren’t looking to try something that bold.

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She acts like she’s done something horribly wrong and deserves to be punished. Or like you’re just being a rude customer.

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12. Maybe something more along the red lines?

Maybe not navy blue.

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13. You find three or more perfect reds, and can’t decide between them.

This one’s bold, but this one lasts, but this one is cheaper…

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14. She’ll try and help you by weeding them out.

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One by one, she’ll throw them away.

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15. Of course, the cheapest one makes you look washed out.

Goodbye, rent money.

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16. The second one is much too bold.

No way anybody would take you seriously. You could never pull that off.

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17. And the third one…

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This color makes you look flawless.

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18. But it’s so expensive.

Like I said, goodbye home.

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19. So you reluctantly try to walk away.

Very reluctantly.

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20. But you can’t just leave it there!

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It would be so sad.

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21. You go back.

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(Knowing you won’t be eating for the next week)

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22. But hey, beauty is pain, amirite?


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23. You fork over $60 dollars, but go home happily.

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Now your lips won’t look like the naked mole rat from Kim Possible.

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24. You drive home, slowly.

Not to disturb the natural beauty of the lipstick.

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25. Rush inside and scurry to the bathroom.

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I’m so excited I’m so excited I’m so excited I’m so excited eeeeeeeeee

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26. You open it, and it’s perfect.

It’s even got that new tube smell.

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27. You cherish the moment before the first application.


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28. It applies even better than at the store.

I blame the sales assistant.

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29. It makes you feel confident.


And sexy.

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30. And no one will bring you down.

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31. You go, girl.

Or boy. I don’t judge.
You go, everybody.

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