Now that you’ve gotten to a point in your life where you’ve gotten over your adolescent hang-ups, you’ve managed to avoid a plunge into mediocrity and your idiosyncrasies glimmer. With even more ablution, you can surely hit the mark.
8.4 — Best New Music
You are cloyingly optimistic, but it helps you eschew the doubt and self-destruction that affects so many of your peers. You’re sometimes clunky and awkward, but always self-aware, which ultimately makes you a complete delight and surprise.
Your exhausting one-note perfection has begun to feel like a deja vu of sorts — an eclectic style that hasn’t mutated but rather warbles on into serene oblivion.
Hiding behind a swoop of fringe, your understated approach vacillates between low-dosage melancholy and dilettantish sensitivity. But you are not without your moments of charm, Lurking between your mix-and-match riffs is a tension that lacks focus but reverberates with a twinkle of confidence.
10 — Best New Music
You are a sparkling paradox of a human. You brood, you ponder, but ultimately always trust your instincts, and you simultaneously prove your vulnerability and strength in doing so. You are, simply, a gem.
You’re fastidious in everything you do, but don’t let your attention to detail bar you from breaking new ground. You’re inventive and can surprise people with your vivid perception of the world when you let your guard down. Just don’t get caught up in trying to adhere to a formula.
You flirt with provocation occasionally but mostly live in the vicinity of calculable success. You know what works for you, but your own predilection for praise is your tragic flaw.
Your gnomic tendencies make it hard for others to keep up with you, and your mind unspools life truths at a dizzying rate. Unfortunately, your pseudo-acid-informed musings will eventually obfuscate the true marrow of your work.