9. Refuses to Wear a Costume
There’s nothing that says I’m a boring waste of party life more than the refusal to dress up at the costume party. And no, telling everyone that you’re dressed as yourself does not count; it just makes you look like a douche.
8. The “This Is My Costume Shirt”
No, you do not get points for effort because you went out and bought a $12 t-shirt as your costume. You are officially the lamest person at the party and you wasted $12 to get there.
7. The TV Character No One Knows
Wait, you’re supposed to be what? The lead character of the 4th most watched drama series on TNT? Seriously dude?
6. Reality TV Anything
I’m sorry but dressing up like one of the “Jersey Shore” kids means you not only have horrible taste in costumes, but you probably also share Snooki’s IQ and life goals.
5. The Pregnancy Belly
There’s nothing I hate more than seeing that bulbous bubble out and about in the flesh… except seeing it out and about painted like a pumpkin. You just ruined pumpkin pie for me.
4. Political Costumes
As if filling up my facebook news feed with your crazy political rants wasn’t enough. Now you have to come to a party and try to start arguments with everyone over their left-wing ideas. I’m just trying to play beer pong man. Leave me alone.
3. Overtly Offensive
Look, we’re all about crude and vulgar costumes; bring on the blood and guts. But wearing blackface and dressing like Treyvon Martin for Halloween does not get you comedic points. It makes you an insensitive asshole.
2. The Cliché Slutty (Insert Any Costume)
I get it; you have big boobs and you want to get laid on Halloween. But come on, this is the 4th year in a row that you’ve worn that slutty cop outfit and all you’ve ever gotten on Halloween night is puke in your hair. Maybe you should try harder.
1. Controversy of the Year Costume
I promise, if you dress like Miley Cyrus this year you will not get the props you think your clever costume deserves. Not only is it old news by the time Halloween rolls around, but there will be about 20 other Mileys at every bar you visit. Just don’t.