How To Propose Like An Animal: 9 Weird And Wonderful Animal Courtship Gifts

The pressure is on for those in a relationship as *shudder* V-Day fast approaches. A traditional time of year for marriage proposals the reluctant-romantics among you may wish to look away now; as not only does the human tradition of presenting a ring (ooh shiny) as incentive to a potential mate have some ancient roots; but it seems we’re not any more sophisticated than the animals either…

Puny Humans!

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It seems we have the ancient Egyptians to thank for the engagement ring, along with pyramids and other useful stuff; but as years progressed man began to take “wooing” a potential mate a lot more seriously. For instance in 16th Century Philippines the range of gifts got a bit out of hand including love songs, poems, livestock and quite often this would extend to the rest of the family.

Whilst today’s human-proposal gift is a thing of beauty…

we could learn a thing or two from our animal cousins…

Kingfisher – Fishballs of Love

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The male Kingfisher has his work cut-out to catch the perfect fish to present to their potential mate to impress her. Picking the right fish is all about size and species; a large minnow or stickleback is definitely the way to go. Not only does the fish have to be right, it also has to be presented face first to the female, this means the male Kingfisher exercises self-restraint in holding the fish and even swallowing it to regurgitate for the female in a triumphant “ta-da!” moment. That’s dedication.

Northern Gannet – Says it with Flowers

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It is up to the adult Gannets to decorate their home each year when they return with flowers and feathers for when nesting begins, however it seems like adolescent birds have picked up a trick or two from their parents and have begun using flowers to win the heart of a female bird. They have been observed presenting gifts and accessorising their female friends with wild flowers as preparation for romance later in life.

Great Hornbill – Great choons!

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These monogamous birds fall in love through song, if a male starts singing a song that the female likes she will join in and they will sing together. The birds will find each other and set up their first home in the high-up hollow of a tree. Once the female lays eggs she will seal herself into the nest to protect herself and them; whilst the male will collect food and feed the family through a small hole. It takes breakfast in bed to a whole new level.

Chimpanzee – The Gift of Meat

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Sneaky male Chimpanzees know that a woman’s heart is not won over night; they know it’s all about proving themselves as a generous provider who can care for the female and child. A clever chimp will start to share their meat and food with the female months before they are considering starting a romance. It’s been proven that if a female has shared meat with a male in the months before they are more likely to accept any advances.

Frigatebird – Because Nothing Says “I Love You” Like a Throat Sac

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These sea birds take the colour of love literally and attract females with their bright red balloons. The male Frigatebird has a red throat sac which it can inflate into a balloon that even takes the shape of a heart. With a little dance and a shake of its wings the male with the shiniest and biggest balloon will attract a mate.

Red Capped Manakin Bird – Moonwalks (Yes, really)…

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This is a courtship ritual that you should recognise as an almost imitation of human rituals; we’ve all seen you hit the dance floor in an attempt to impress the pretty blonde at the bar but these birds have some serious moves. The Red Capped Manakin Bird attracts the fairer sex with his expertise in moon walking, think Michael Jackson circa Billie Jean and that’s the style they bring to dating.

Snail – Love Darts

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Snails are actually hermaphrodites but require both male and females for reproduction. Although this sounds impossible the gender of the snail is pretty much determined when it comes to making baby-snails. ‘Love Darts’ are fired by one snail at another, a less romantic version of cupid’s arrow, and this releases a hormone in the snail to make it able to reproduce with the snail that has shot it. The snail can choose to accept or reject the love dart; just like a female might turn down a ring.

Spider – Bad Boi Wrapper

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Lots of species of spiders are a big fan of impressively gift wrapped presents, unfortunately they are less picky about the contents. Whilst the outside will be a silk-wrapped package sometimes a spider will present an ant nest or even leaf to the female as long as he can wrap it quickly for her. Those cheapskate spiders will distract the female with a present and then use his best moves to talk the lady-spider into romance. (Note: Whilst a human female may love a bit of sparkly paper, this is not the foundation of a good engagement).

And Finally…

Penguin – Stoned

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We’re sorry to write this and shatter the illusion, but the perfect pebble story of a penguin searching for the smoothest, flawless stone to present to its love interest is in fact a myth. Scientists believe this rumour of romantic penguins came from the Adelie penguin who use pebbles to form a nest for mating, unfortunately any pebble will do.

Although, we would not recommend you following the penguin with an ‘any ring will do policy’ we’ve found that human females do tend to be picky when it comes to the engagement ring they’re presented with!