Are You A Bagelsexual?

Sure, you can get a halfway decent bagel at any chain convenience store. But a truly carefully constructed, mutli-layered, decadent bagel is a work of art. Read below to find out if bagels turn you on.

Now of course, you’re familiar with the basics. Even in its purest form, the bagel is still without a doubt the sexiest way to carbo load.

And then there’s the standard bagel fare. Bagels+capers+lox. Colorful, elegant, understated, sexy as hell.

I mean, just look at it. Really LOOK. Do you FEEL that toasted bagel melting the cream cheese? What a tease.

And if you wanna start getting fancy, how about a lil BLT on your B-A-G-E-L. Sorry, bad joke, just too distracted by those gorgeous sesame seeds. Mmmmm.

Or if you’re tryna get fancy with your toppings, take your bagel-lover out to a fancy dinner and dress it up in turkey, pear, and brie. Motherf*cking BRIE. How are you not turned on?!

Just think about waking up next to your piping hot bagel-bacon-breakfast sandwich ;).

Or dress your bagel up as a pizza when you introduce it to your Italian grandmother. How can she not approve?

Tryna go vegan? Your bagel’s chill with that. Your bagel just wants to make you happy, baby. You see these avocados and roasted red peppers? All for you, babe.

Too lazy to put toppings on your bagel? These babies come pre-packaged with warm, soft cream cheese. It’s okay, you can drool.

Got a sweet tooth? These charming lil blueberry bagels will sweep you off your proverbial feet.

Bagels get the whole “going green” thing. Really. Hummus and avocado is your thing now? Bagels understand, and bagels just want to make you happy.

Bagels are great with kids.

But no matter how you treat your bagel, your bagel will always, always love you back.

Just embrace your sweet, sweet bagelsexuality and start your personal journey to bagel bliss.

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