1. This awful mom/dad:
Binack: My sister had a job in a store at WDW throughout college. She said one time in a gift store, a parent asked if their son with cancer could meet Darth Vader. After my sister told them her store does not have a Darth Vader costume or even any Star Wars memorabilia, they freaked out and asked for her manager. After about an hour of waiting the child is greeted by my sister in a Darth Vader costume that came from across the park in a Star Wars section. Once greeted the parent told the child, “I knew we wouldn’t have to walk to the other side of the park! I love cancer.”
TL;DR: Parent used kid’s cancer for perks, bragged about it.
2. This very public breakup:
Azov237: I was working in the kitchen at Cinderella’s Castle when this family of four came in for their dinner. About halfway through the dinner the husband politely stands up and taps his glass for attention. He announced that his wife of 15 years has been cheating on him for over a year. The entire place stood still in shock. He motioned for his kids, paid the waitress, and left the wife crying at the table.
TL;DR: Guy tells an entire restaurant his wife has been cheating on him.
3. This ceremonial gesture:
Overnight_cm_girl: Overnight cast member here. Please PLEASE leave your cremated loved ones at home. Stop dumping them in Haunted Mansion. They just get vacuumed up and disposed of.
TL;DR: People scatter ashes at Haunted Mansion.
4. This incident:
Vashthechibi: I never saw anything that extreme, but here is my wildest story: One time, as soon as the lights went out [on the Sounds Dangerous: Drew Carey ride], I saw a guy straight up finger bang his girlfriend/wife. It was obvious that he had been on the attraction before because he had it timed perfectly so that no one knew what he was doing. He wasn’t even caught when the lights suddenly came on, and he was back at it as soon as the lights went out again. These kinds of things were not common occurrence, but it was funny to watch those people carry on afterwards as if nothing ever happened.
TL;DR: Guy got frisky with his girlfriend on the Drew Carey ride.
5. This child’s innocence:
DorothyGaleEsq: I was a safari driver at the Kilimanjaro safari attraction in Animal Kingdom. We had this elephant named Willy. Willy was an exhibitionist. I was driving a safari one day, spewing out facts about elephants when I hear a tiny voice from the back of the truck yell, “MOOOOM! HE HAS FIVE LEGS!!!” I turn, and sure enough, there’s Willy, standing with his five foot long dick just swaying in the Florida breeze. I had to turn my mic off, I was laughing so hard.
TL;DR: An elephant named Willy showed off his willy.
6. This bad example of parenting:
Broken_long_thumbkey: This couple was trying to ride Space Mountain, and had a black duffle bag. [My brother] heard something come from the bag, so he asked them to open it. They refused. Security comes, forces them to open it. It was their six-month old baby.
TL;DR: Someone tried to smuggle in their 6-month-old baby into Space Mountain.
7. And this one:
Atheistpiece: We had a lady try to smuggle an infant onto Indy at DL one time. She put a huge jacket on (in the summer) and stuffed her child down near the bottom in an attempt to look pregnant. Several cast members warned her that it is not recommended that pregnant women go on the ride, but she insisted, and we couldn’t stop her. So she manages to get on the Jeep, and puts the seat belt on, and that was when her stomach started screaming and crying.
TL;DR: A woman hid her infant in her jacket so she could ride an attraction.
8. This not-so-happy ending:
Steakandasideofsteak: In the dark of the theater [at Honey, I Shrunk the Audience ride], some girl decided this would be a good time to go down on her boyfriend. Little did she know, about halfway into the show, one of the effects is this little tube that comes wiggling out of the seat to simulate mice running by your legs. This hit her throat, she bit down, and the guy was bleeding pretty profusely. A Grad Nite to remember!
TL;DR: Some girl goes down on her boyfriend on a ride and accidentally bites down, making him bleed everywhere.
9. This uprising:
AnOfferYouCantRefuse: When I was working the front of a character line I saw a Make-A-Wish complaint happen. The guy who was next in line shouted, “I wish my kid was dying so we could skip lines too!” How disgusting, right? What ensued was one of the most amazing things I’d ever seen. The ENTIRE line of people who heard it began booing him, shouting at him to get out of the park, and then as a group of about 45 followed him around for an hour complaining to his face until he couldn’t take it anymore and left the park.
TL;DR: Some prick complained about a Make-A-Wish kid, the entire line yells at him and follows him until he leaves the park.
10. This bomb scare:
Steakandasideofsteak: Someone had left an abandoned bag at the base of Space Mountain for more than 15 minutes, so we followed the normal security procedures and they brought a bomb dog out to sniff it. When our Pluto came to check the bag, he sniffed it and then sat down, which signals there is something wrong with this bag. So we had to evacuate all of Tomorrowland, literally all of the attractions/stores/restaurants, and all the CMs (cast members) were standing at all the entrances freaking out because now of course we were sure a bomb was going to go off and we would all die. Turned out that the backpack was just forgotten, full of carne asada burritos, and Pluto sat down because he thought he was getting a treat.
TL;DR: Someone left a bag, they called a bomb dog named Pluto, he sniffed and sat down, which signals that something is wrong, everyone panics, turns out it was a burrito and the dog wanted a treat.
11. And this Grad Nite trip:
LonelyHarley: On Pirates of the Caribbean, a girl in the back row was seen on the security cams giving her boyfriend a blow job. As soon as he blew his load, she leaned over to spit it out, when the overhead PA boomed, “Not in the water.” She was so startled she swallowed.
TL;DR: Girl gives guy head, tries to spit it in the water, gets called out by the PA system.
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*Stories have been slightly edited for brevity and clarity.