1. Lie: You drink a moderate, reasonable amount.
Reality: You spend more money on alcohol than on food.
2. Lie: You only take cabs when absolutely necessary. Maybe once or twice a month?
Reality: Turns out all those surprise drinks resulted in surprise rides home.
3. Lie: Once the grace period passes it won’t even be an issue — of course you’ll be able to afford your student loan payments!
Reality: Another deferment, please!
4. Lie: But once you start making payments, at least you’ll be making a real dent in those loans.
5. Lie: If you order the cheapest items off the menu, it’s totally fine to get delivery.
Reality: You are eating roughly 75% of your income.
6. Lie: You’ll remember to cancel that subscription before your free trial ends.
Reality: Congratulations on supporting every possible music service for the past year.
7. Lie: You’ll only use an out-of-bank ATM in case of emergency.
Reality: WHAT DO YOU MEAN $25 IN ATM FEES IN ONE MONTH?!
8. Lie: You indulge every now and then, but for the most part you maintain a healthy diet.
Reality: Is junk food-specific amnesia a thing?
9. Lie: You’ve got plenty of time to start saving for retirement.
Reality: Your future self is impoverished and super pissed about it.
10. Lie: This is the month you’re going to sign up for a gym membership.
Reality: All you have to do is stop paying your phone bill.
11. Lie: It can’t be that much worse getting Starbucks every day instead of brewing coffee yourself.
Reality: JK, it totally can.
12. Lie: You can’t even remember the last time you splurged on new shoes/clothes/gadgets.
Reality: It was two weeks ago. And again a week before that.