This Vintage Vibrator Ad Doesn’t Know What A Vibrator Is For

There’s nothing your sternum needs like some pulsing vibrations, amirite, ladies?

1. The Sanofix electric hand vibrator was a German product that would massage you without tiring your hands. Genius! Here are the suggested uses from a 1913 advertisement:

2. Use the vibrator to massage your face!

Wellcome Library, London / Via creativecommons.org

You know how your face gets all tired and you just wish you could massage it without your hands getting tired, too?

3. Use it to massage your forehead!

Wellcome Library, London / Via creativecommons.org

The vibrator works wonders for headaches.

4. Use it to massage your chest!

Wellcome Library, London / Via creativecommons.org

Ladies love chest massages, but no one ever wants to give them to you. SOLUTION: Do it yourself with a vibrator!

5. Use it to massage your throat!

Wellcome Library, London / Via creativecommons.org

Bonus: If you talk while you’re using it, you will sound like an alien! LOL.

6. According to the German pamphlet, the vibrations will give you better skin using science. This vibrator will leave you with rosy skin and you’ll feel rejuvenated!

Wellcome Library, London / Via creativecommons.org

From the text, it’s unclear when you apply to your privates.

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