26 Lessons You Only Learn In Progressive School

You would say store-bought granola is for the birds, but you would never feed high-fructose corn syrup to birds.

1. If someone asked you what a quiz was, you could not have really said.

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“I’m more of a holistic learner.”

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2. Blocks. You were all about blocks. All learning starts with a block.

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3. You didn’t just make art. You lived it.

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4. You probably did some kind of activity in an overgrown field, because weeds are beautiful, too. Nature, man.

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5. You took a field trip to a farm so you would be less alienated from the growing and harvesting of your food.

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6. After you got back from the farm, you wrote a play about it.

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7. You supported unions and took field trips to picket lines.

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Everyone deserves a decent wage.

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8. “The war on Christmas” is an alien concept to you — why wouldn’t you want to be as inclusive as possible? Happy holidays, everyone, please come join the music circle!

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9. Everyone was required to learn to sign at least one song.

This wasn’t that difficult because at least one person at your school could sign fluently.

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10. I’m not saying you learned to play recorder before you learned to read, but I’m not saying you didn’t learn to play recorder before you learned to read.

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Squeaky rendition of “We Shall Overcome,” anyone?

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11. It was just that your teachers encouraged you to learn at your own pace and follow your passions, and sometimes that meant you were more of a painter than a reader.

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12. You aspired to play the big marimba at the school-wide sing-along.

Someday. Someday.

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13. You learned at least four different versions of mancala.

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14. “Can people learn anything without first making a diorama?” you would wonder to yourself as you took a diorama nap.

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15. Some parent at your school drove an old-school bus, and it was super dope.

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Please for the love of mother earth, let me be in this car for the field trip.

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16. It’s hard to say what you learned building that volcano, but you built the shit out of that volcano.

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17. Beeswax is magic.

A fistful of warm beeswax could occupy you for hours.

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18. Some people see toilet paper rolls as trash, but you see monsters…

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…or little pots for your seedlings.

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Reuse is more powerful than recycling, y’all. You know because you probably wrote a song about that.

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19. Same with tiny scraps of felt.

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No piece of felt was too small to transform; your creativity knew no bounds!

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20. It was hard to rebel when everyone was always teaching you about how you needed to rebel.

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21. Store-bought costumes were a definite no-no. Making that costume yourself built character.

The paper cuts you got from the paper costume you made also built character.

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22. Maypoles were your jam.

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23. Not a day went by when you didn’t craft with yarn.

Everyone in your family had a two-foot-long, stick-skinny, finger-knit scarf.

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24. Eggs? Yeah, you dyed those suckers.

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Beauty is everywhere.

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25. Paper lanterns, colorful scarves, and feathers were a huge part of your educational experience.

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Like going to school in a silk-lined womb.

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26. When you grew up, all of this made you a weird adult.

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You wouldn’t have it any other way.

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