The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco was taped Sunday night (it airs Sept. 2 on Comedy Central). Roasting Franco were mostly his actual comedian friends: Roast master Seth Rogen was joined on the dais by Nick Kroll, Jonah Hill, Sarah Silverman, Bill Hader, Natasha Leggero, Andy Samberg, Aziz Ansari, and Jeff Ross (the non-friends being Leggero, Ansari, and Ross). At the taping, BuzzFeed counted the gay jokes made about Franco or about multiple comedians, including Franco. Here are the results, ranked from most gay jokes about Franco to fewest gay jokes about Franco.
1. Seth Rogen. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 8
1. On Franco’s many talents: “He’s a tough guy to pin down, although I’ve heard many guys have been able to do it.”
2. “Every man wants to be him, and he wants to be in every man.”
3. Franco “told me he worked for 36 hours straight, which I don’t believe. The straight part.”
4. Franco is similar to James Dean because “they both sucked some dicks and made three good movies.”
5. Franco “went on to star in Milk, which is what he did to Sean Penn’s dick to get the role.”
6. 127 Hours is based on the true story of when he spent “five days with his arm inside the Rock. He goes by Dwayne Johnson.”
7. Franco was disappointed when he was cast as Hugh Hefner and “not legendary blowjob artist Linda Lovelace.”
8. “If there were two James Francos, they’d never stop butt-fucking each other.”
2. Andy Samberg. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 4
1. “James Franco’s dick is so small that I had to suck it for like three hours just to get it hard.”
2. “He doesn’t even clean his jizz off my back when he’s done.”
3. There was a long joke ending in, “I sucked your dick, man!”
4. “James Franco has force-fed me so much dick, you could make foie gras out of my liver.”
3. Nick Kroll. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 3
1. Kroll made a joke about a Muppet “gargling James Franco’s balls.”
2. Kroll polled, “Who here honestly thinks James Franco’s gay?”
3. “I could see him being gay for a year as an art installation.”
4. Sarah Silverman. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 3
1. “Can’t tell if this is a dais or the line to suck Judd Apatow’s balls.”
2. “It’s a prestigious award that’s given anally. Annually. It’s given annually.” (Arguably not a gay joke: I hear you, peggers, but let’s look at the context.)
3. Silverman said she doesn’t think Franco is gay or straight: “He literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s fucking.”
5. Jeff Ross. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 3
1. On This Is the End: “Did they pass out smoothies that taste like Judd Apatow’s asshole?”
2. Addressing Franco, he said Milk and 127 Hours should have been “one epic movie where you get your dick stuck in Sean Penn’s asshole for five days.”
3. He hoped he wasn’t too mean “because my girlfriend and I both want to fuck you after the show.”
6. James Franco. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 2
1. “You guys wouldn’t know spunk if it hit you in the face. I know because I’ve had my spunk all over your faces.”
2. He said an incident where Seth Rogen tried to rape him inspired a painting called “Seth Rogen Is A Gay Stoner Rapist.” (Maybe this shouldn’t be included. Franco is almost a rape victim in this joke?)
7. Jonah Hill. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 1
1. “He’s like our generation’s Johnny Depp, if Johnny Depp was a worse actor who blew guys.”
8. Bill Hader. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 1
1. Hader made a joke about “explicitly gay” Gucci commercials.
9. Natasha Leggero. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 1
1. Leggero said she wanted to “take you back to my hotel room, take off all your clothes, and let a man fuck you.”
10. Aziz Ansari. Gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 0
Actually Ansari said, “So many gay jokes tonight, wow,” and then made fun of gay jokes.
Aziz, I’ll get straight to the point: Call me and let’s make out.
Total gay jokes at Franco’s expense: 26
ROFL, right? Tune in on Labor Day to catch the sexist and racist jokes, too!