PATTI MAYONNAISE: FELON

What happened to the girl-next-door after “Doug”?

1. It nagged at me all weekend, but I finally figured it out.


Y’all remember Patti Mayonnaise? The perky, athletic and studious girl who drove Doug Funnie wild?

She served up leggings and oversized tops before you even knew that was a thing.

Patti’s voice was provided by Constance Shulman for each series and movie, and girlfriend’s got a new gig.

Maybe you recognize her?

That’s right, Yoga Jones from Orange Is The New Black is Patti Mayonnaise.

Who could forget that sweet, gravelly voice? And they’re both serving you short blonde realness. You’ll never look at Yoga Jones the same again.

Laura Prepon, Natasha Lyonne, Kate Mulgrew, Taryn Manning and now Patti – OITB is bringing back all the women I wanted to be in the late 90s.

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