1. There are so many varieties to choose from and you can have them ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
2. Junk food won't get mad if you don't text or call it back.
3. There is no talking back or yelling during an argument.
4. If you feel like staying in, junk food will stay in with you.
5. You can buy your love.
6. Seamless > Tinder.
7. Junk food would never ask you to not eat because you're wearing lipstick.
8. Like gravity, junk food is there all day, every day.
9. It won't get mad when you yawn during the middle of a conversation.
10. It doesn't care about any possible stains it might leave on your furniture.
11. Junk food is the good kind of greasy.
12. You never have to dress up for it.
13. It won't mind if you just lay there and don't go on top, during YA KNOW.
14. Junk food won't care how much you drink when you're together.
15. And then it's always there for you when you're hungover.
16. If you stay out late, junk food won't care. Not one bit at all.
17. Sitting in silence together is OK.
18. Junk food always finishes your sentences.
19. If you're not satisfied, you can always get more.
20. Junk food always gets along with your friends.
21. Junk food is always up for a threesome or experimentation.
Ice cream and french fries — try it now or continue missing out on the best food combinations of your life.
22. It doesn't matter what size junk food comes in.
23. Best of all, junk food's only purpose in life is to love you.
