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It's 90 degrees outside withOUT the humidity.
And you don't have the luxury of central air in your apartment.
So what do you do?
1. Cry.
2. Cry more.
3. Even more crying.
4. Strip down naked, lie on your bed, and cry.
5. Take a cold shower every 30 minutes.
6. Spend a reeeeeally long time “looking” in the fridge.
7. And then the freezer.
8. Stand directly in front of an electric fan for, like, an hour.
9. Make sure you have at least two fans in every room.
10. And then still fan yourself manually with anything in arm's reach.
11. Lie on the hard floor in an attempt to soak up its coolness.
12. Walk around in your underwear no matter how many roommates are home.
13. Lie awake in bed at 4 a.m. because you need to (but physically can't) cuddle under a blanket to sleep.
14. And get as far away from your partner as the bed allows.
NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CUDDLES, BABE.
15. Become friends with the bugs who live in your house since your windows are now always open.
16. Check your weather app like:
17. Salad for every meal.
18. With ice cream and popsicles for dessert.
19. Live in a state of constant moisture and sweat.
20. And stick to all your furniture.
21. Sometimes you just rub ice cubes against your body.
22. Complain about it to everyone you talk to.
23. And shut down anyone with air conditioning that tries to complain.
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