1.
Stay off the road, if you can.
2.
Actually give thanks — it's good for your brain.
3.
And do it before your cousin starts criticizing your politics.
4.
Think about Thanksgivings past to boost self-esteem.
5.
Eat a lot so you don't spend as much on Black Friday.
6.
Viagra could help you eat more.
7.
Fill up on turkey — it's healthy!
8.
However, today's turkeys are also pretty weird.