1.
Because apparently gender roles need to exist from early on?
2.
Having a heart attack at eight is what every kid secretly dreams of.
3.
Has anyone really ever used this to trick someone?
4.
There's no such thing as eternal happiness.
5.
With great toys comes great suffering.
6.
Maybe you should reconsider asking Santa for that dog, too.
7.
Because everyone needs that ball and chain experience at least once in their life.
8.
Your unconditioned reflexes are not fast enough, sorry.
9.
Imagination knows no limits, but your need for art supplies does.
10.
No one ever used the tongs. It's sort of our own fault, really.
11.
A hope for those who were less skilled.
12.
It was all fun and games until it turned out someone forgot to check the ground for sharp objects.
14.
Unrealistic body proportions.
15.
A definitive proof '90s toy makers had no clue what they were doing.
