Promoted

The Third "Sex And The City Film" Is Here (But Only On Twitter)

A new Twitter account has surfaced that will make you actually want a third film.

1. Remember Sex and the City?

Of course you do. You still set aside one Sunday a month to watch the final episode and cry into a tub of mint chocolate ice cream.

2. Unfortunately, you probably also remember the awkward and more-than-vaguely-racist second film, which saw the ladies take a trip to Abu Dhabi.

Even the most die hard fans agreed that a third movie would be total overkill.

3. Now a new Twitter account has appeared - named @SATC3quel - tweeting hilariously on-point quotes from the set of the set of the third film (which, for the record, doesn’t exist.)

4. The account, run by Salon’s culture editor Dan D’Addario, has gained over 5,600 followers since its first tweet on September 18. Here are some reasons why:


Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

STANFORD: I’m boycotting pasta. CARRIE: And I’m boycotting my “past”-a — yes, I’m tearing up all Big’s love letters!
STANFORD: Carrie

/ Via

AMAZON EDITOR: We'd love you to write a Kindle Single. CARRIE: Sir, can't it be called a Kindle Figuring-Things-Out? AMAZON EDITOR: No, bye

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

AMAZON EDITOR: We’d love you to write a Kindle Single. CARRIE: Sir, can’t it be called a Kindle Figuring-Things-Out?
AMAZON EDITOR: No, bye

/ Via

8. Charlotte is a Breaking Bad fan:

CHARLOTTE: I have to be home for the "Breaking Bad" finale! CARRIE: And, ladies -- I'm *finally* breaking *my* bad habit. Big. CHARLOTTE: OK

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

CHARLOTTE: I have to be home for the “Breaking Bad” finale! CARRIE: And, ladies — I’m *finally* breaking *my* bad habit. Big.
CHARLOTTE: OK

/ Via

10. Kanye launches a Twitter rant at Carrie:

[CARRIE V.O.]: And Kanye was ranting about me again -- but I couldn't help feeling more disrespected by Big. Why wouldn't he let me finish?

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

[CARRIE V.O.]: And Kanye was ranting about me again — but I couldn’t help feeling more disrespected by Big. Why wouldn’t he let me finish?

/ Via

12. There’s a casual reference to Martha Stewart’s iPad woes:

[CARRIE V.O.]: Sometimes iPads shatter -- and so do relationships. But, if you're very lucky, friends will bring you back to the homescreen.

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

[CARRIE V.O.]: Sometimes iPads shatter — and so do relationships. But, if you’re very lucky, friends will bring you back to the homescreen.

/ Via

14. Carrie likens Big to Iran:

[CARRIE V.O.]: As the President opened talks with Iran, *I* ran into my own rogue state. [Carrie opens apartment door] BIG: Hello, stranger.

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

[CARRIE V.O.]: As the President opened talks with Iran, *I* ran into my own rogue state. [Carrie opens apartment door]
BIG: Hello, stranger.

/ Via

16. Samantha is dating @horse_ebooks:

SAMANTHA: Oh, honey -- he's hung like a horse! And he's just so *real.* [CARRIE V.O.]: A month later, @horse_ebooks walked out on Samantha.

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

SAMANTHA: Oh, honey — he’s hung like a horse! And he’s just so *real.* [CARRIE V.O.]: A month later, @horse_ebooks walked out on Samantha.

/ Via

Can you imagine the scene where she discovers he wasn’t a bot?

MIRANDA: How can they defund Obamacare? CARRIE: And why don't *you* have "de funds" for brunch?! ALL: [laugh] MIRANDA: I'm broke

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

MIRANDA: How can they defund Obamacare? CARRIE: And why don’t *you* have “de funds” for brunch?!
ALL: [laugh]
MIRANDA: I’m broke

/ Via

20. Carrie’s on Tinder:

[CARRIE V.O.]: My breakup still fresh in my mind, I tried to order both Chinese -- and a man. But I wondered: was I too tender for Tinder?

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

[CARRIE V.O.]: My breakup still fresh in my mind, I tried to order both Chinese — and a man. But I wondered: was I too tender for Tinder?

/ Via

22. Somebody actually needs to write a film based on these tweets.

[CARRIE V.O.]: They say, in space, no one can hear you scream. [CUT TO: Samantha, now an astronaut, having sex with her crewmate]

— SATC3quel (@Sex and the City 3)

Sex and the City 3

@SATC3quel

[CARRIE V.O.]: They say, in space, no one can hear you scream. [CUT TO: Samantha, now an astronaut, having sex with her crewmate]

/ Via

23. Bring on Sex and the City 3.

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