9 Reasons You Don't Actually Want The Zombie Apocalypse To Happen

Norman Reedus turned 45 today. In his honor, I thought I'd remind everyone why the zombie apocalypse wouldn't actually be that cool.

1. You’ll get terrible cell phone service.

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...and most prisons don’t have wifi.

2. You might have to shoot your brother.

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...or your wife, or your son, or your mother, or your sister. In the head.

3. Your next meal is probably as fresh as the corpses trying to eat you.

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...or older.

4. You risk dysentery with every glass of water.

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...and definitely don't drink the well water.

5. Odds are, the toilet paper factories were overrun.

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6. EVERYONE IS TRYING TO EAT YOU.

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7. You might end up with a shoddy amputation.

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8. Watch out, that guy you bullied in middle school might don an eye patch and call himself the Governor.

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...and add you to his heads-in-fish-tanks collection.

9. Your best friend might consider it a great opportunity to steal your family and try to kill you.

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