26. When any league member misses the draft.
“Their season-long go-to excuse for losing is neatly in order.”
25. When the last place teams stop updating their lineup halfway through the season.
“Throwing in the towel before it’s even over, huh?”
24. When the league-wide consensus is to raise the buy-in fee two weeks into the season.
“Oh, this is going to cost me more money??”
23. When someone steals your awesome team name.
“Are you telling me Multiple Scoregasms is taken?!”
22. When a winning team tries trading with a team out of playoff contention.
“Don’t think so.”
21. When the team that everyone thought would be terrible wins it all.
“What were you reading that I missed? Oh! The guide to accidental drafting?”
20. When the team with the dumbest name wins it all.
“It pains me to see The Beer View Mirrors in first place.”
19. When you try to negotiate a trade and nobody wants to be reasonable.
“You want an arm AND a leg, ayy?”
18. When the person drafting before you takes the player you want.
17. When most league members don’t pay on time.
“Show me the money. Sooner rather than later, please.”
16. Going into a crucial game with your best players on bye-week.
“Well this stinks.”
15. When your normally productive players underperform when it matters most.
“I really wish I could throw a toaster at you right now.”
14. When the team that missed the draft is undefeated.
“I see the Autopick All-Stars are having a record year.”
13. When ALL teams out of playoff contention stop updating their lineup.
“Oh, we’re handing out free W’s now?”
12. When friendships are ruined over anything-fantasy.
“Are you trying to rip me off?!”
11. When the league manager is anything but firm and fair.
“Really? You’re going to let that trade go through?”
10. When the league manager changes the scoring style two weeks into the regular season.
“That’s weird, before the change I was undefeated, and now I’m 0-2.”
9. When the winner of the league has to go collect the winnings from every person who didn’t pay.
“Everyone over there owes me money.”
8. When the official player projections are way off but you listened to them anyway.
7. When you rejected a trade that you definitely should have accepted.
“Still interested?” “NO!”
6. When you drop a player who ends up having a breakout season.
“There are big mistakes and little mistakes. That was a big mistake.”
5. Losing to a rival by a fraction of a point.
“If I didn’t just lose 155 to 155.5, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible.”
4. Having to reject 9 out of 10 trade offers.
“No, I don’t want four unproductive players for Lebron James.”
3. Waking up early to claim a player off the waivers, only to find someone else got there first.
“Close. Sort of.”
“Season ending injury? Par for the course.”
- An arrest warrant has been issued for Guatemalan President Otto Pérez Molina in connection with a corruption case involving the highest levels of the government. ›
- China will cut its military personnel by 300,000, shrinking the forces to 2 million people. President Xi Jinping called it a gesture of peace. ›
- A new study says there are 3 trillion trees on Earth — much more than previously thought. But we're losing them fast 🌳 ›