1. You have no benefits
You don’t get paid for holidays, vacations or sick days
2. No one knows your name
You will be called “the temp” behind your back for at least 6 months
3. You are scared to make friends because you’re only temporary
This is just a pit stop on your road to success-ain’t nobody got time fo friends
4. Your food in the community fridge WILL get eaten
You thought people cared that you put your name on it? Cute joke.
5. The crappiest cubicle belongs to you now
You’re either sharing it with someone you don’t like or it is in a horrid location.
6. No one offers to get afternoon Starbucks for you
Sorry, only for full time, permanent workers, buddy.
7. You are basically your bosses assistant
Write down where they get their dry cleaning done and how many sugars they take in their venti latte.
8. You cannot dress as casually as your coworkers
You want to be offered a full time job, don’t you?! Casual Friday doesn’t apply to you…it’s more like Wear-A-Blazer-With-Expensive-Jeans Friday.
9. You are simply the King of the Copy Machine
Building a copy machine would be no problem considering how many times you’ve taken it apart to unjam it
10. Your only true friend is the janitor
Everyone else is the corporate enemy stealing your thunder.
11. Others WILL steal your ideas
There is no such thing as “credit where credit is due” in Templand…
12. Everyone will forget to invite you to the bar
It’s fine…you didn’t want to go out with them anyway….
13. You are now the master of filing
You could name every person in the company after the hours you’ve logged in the filing cabinet.
14. Attending awkward out-of-work work functions is mandatory
You can’t say “I am busy” because you are expected to go and kiss ass on your Friday night
15. You have mastered the art of pretending to work
Sometimes you aren’t given anything to do but sit there and pretend to type things
16. You constantly feel slightly out of place
Everyone knows their distincitve jobs and needs…but what are yours?
17. The company you are working for does not interest you in the least
You want to work at a magazine? Then please remind me why you are working for a plumbing company then…
18. You have learned what a “working lunch” means
In those short sprees where you have a lot to do and it was due yesterday, you don’t have time for lunch.
19. You can’t just sit around and eat all day anymore
So when you do eat…you eat A LOT
20. You started with the “first in, last out” moto…
But now it is more like “not ridiculously late, out at 5:01”
21. You may just end up being “let go” after a while
It’s not your fault, but the company feels your talents would be best suited in a different business