2. 2. I Drive Myself Crazy (Comparing My Personal and Professional Successes to Those of My Peers)
3. 3. It’s Gonna Be Me (Who Gets Mugged, According to All the Articles My Mother Emails Me)
4. 4. I Want You Back (But I’ve Had Several Drinks So Please Disregard This Text You Know What Just Come Over It’s Fine Feelings Aren’t Real Until They Are)
6. 6. God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You (Or Maybe it Was A Different Deity Or Maybe it was Nothing I Honestly Don’t Know What I Believe Anymore Sorry Mom and Dad Thank You for That Expensive Bat Mitzvah it Was Really Fun)
8. 8. This I Promise You (Someday I Will Stop Stealing Small Unnoticeable Bits of My Roommates’ Food While They’re Sleeping)
9. 9. No Strings Attached (Is a Romantic Policy That Works Zero Percent of The Time)
10. 10. It Makes Me Ill (That You Made That Face After I Said I’m A Feminist)
11. 11. Just Got Paid (Above Minimum Wage for the First Time Since Graduating And I Still Can’t Afford My Apartment)
Here Are The Top Stories
- The gun allegedly used by an undocumented immigrant to shoot and kill a woman on a San Francisco pier last week may have been stolen from a federal agent.
- Fox has secured the rights to make a movie about the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on marriage equality.
- Subway has suspended Jared Fogle, the weight-loss guy from their commercials, due to an FBI investigation.