The 153 Like Self-Esteem
Instead of in kilos, we started measuring ourselves in likes.
The 153 Like Self-Esteem
I’m one of those women who is appalled by how the media has completely distorted our idea of beauty. The standard of how women are supposed to look like is completely deformed. I know this. We know that when we pick up a magazine, the women are never ‘real’. Even the six feet tall models with perfect skin are put through heavy layers of photoshop. We know this. We are very aware of this.
Still, it’s hard to not want to look like these surreal women.
A woman without makeup reads as lazy, tired or sick. We are expected to be blown-dried, have long eye-lashes, have no bags under our eyes, be manicured and pedicured. Don’t even think about showing up to work without your makeup on because you might’ve walked in in your pjs if that’s the case. I’m exaggerating. (I’m not).
Some women only comment on how fat another woman is, as opposed to commenting on how big of a heart and how lovely her personality is, or how much of badass she is at what she does. I’ve listened to us women gossip about a party and just commenting on how the other women looked, not a single comment about the conversations that were held.
And then we take this viciousness online. We put on make up. We take a photo of ourselves and apply various filters to it. We play around with the contrast, we brighten and sharpen it. Our faces look like we just came down from the clouds. We look white even though we’re technically not. Instead of in kilos, we started measuring ourselves in likes. We want to be told we are pretty using thumbs up. We want comments. We display ourselves as if we were mannequins.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be liked or told that we’re pretty. I’ve posted filtered selfies. I just fear for all of those girls that stop being kind and smart and beautiful people and start becoming obsessed with the number of likes they get. I fear for the girls that feel invincible and behave like bitches just because their photo got 300 likes. A number shouldn’t determine our attitudes or our self-esteem.
We know that the definition of beauty is distorted. Now let’s understand it. Feel beautiful being you, in your own skin. No filters, no makeup. Feel beautiful regardless of the number of likes you get.
Edit:
I started thinking about how it is harder to be a teenager nowadays than it was when I was one (I’m 24 years old). I can’t imagine how horrible it must be for girls in their teens to be online, with popularity being so visible and quantifiable. It must be especially hard for girls that haven’t found their place yet. If I were 13 years old, I’m sure my social networks would be deserted. I’ve never been popular and I’ve always been a nerd.
To all of those teenage girls that worry about likes: likes are only zeroes and ones in a computer, don’t let them build you or destroy who are as a person. You are worthy.
PS: I write about being a woman and about girls because that is my experience. I know it's also hard for men and non-binaries. I know it’s very hard for the LGBT community. Share your experiences with me, I’d love to read them.
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