1. You make your kids do art projects you know will look pretty on the blog.
Whether they want to or not.
2. On the rare occasions when you see people IRL and try to tell a story, they’re like:
“Yes. I know. I read about it yesterday. On your blog.”
3. You have inappropriately passionate feelings towards your most frequent commenter.
4. When you tell your kids to get ready to go somewhere they ask if there’s going to be a schwag bag.
“Lady, there better be some keychains in this for us.”
5. You completely lose it when you run into the Dooce lady at BlogHer .
6. You’ve started to formulate all your thoughts in listicle form.
Top Ten Things I Need To Do Tonight…hmmm…
7. The children might be howling for dinner, but it will not be served until it’s arranged into a photogenic panda face.
8. You can’t even enjoy other mom-blogs anymore because you’re constantly comparing your posts to theirs.
9. Your recurring nightmare is that you create a detailed post — with a slideshow — and then your kid unplugs the computer before you save it.
10. When you follow someone’s blog and they don’t follow you back, you’re like:
Bitch, get your blog etiquette under control.
11. Your children are really, really sick of being asked for quotes.
“Yeah, this detangler/iPad game/snack bar was great, WHATEVER MOM.”
12. You stay up so late crafting posts that most mornings you’re too tired to actually parent.
13. Instead of taking your kids back-to-school-shopping, you look for sponsorship opportunities.
“You’re contractually obligated to wear the bow through snack time, okee dokee?”