1. Your mornings consist of sleeping until 11 a.m., moving from the bed to the couch (still in your p.j.'s) followed by hours of scouring craigslist, especially the missed connections. Hey, you never know when a handsome millionaire will spot you.
2. You then wallow in misery for the next few hours after realizing a hot millionaire will never see you because you spend your days on the couch in your nasty, red flannel p.j.'s.
Yup. The ones with the holes in the crotch.
3. In your free time you have started working on your novel-- which will undoubtedly become a New York Times bestseller-- in case the job search doesn't work out.
4. You've become best friends with your cat. You talk to each other through a series of yowling noises.
5. You live off Ramen Noodles, but save change to later bring to Coin Star to drink with your friends on the weekend while you lie about your financial, emotional and psychological state.
6. You post things like, "feeling optimistic" and "Ready to get me a job" on Facebook, but do nothing to actually get a job.
7. You purchase synthetic urine from Amazon.com, just in case you need to pass a drug test. You keep it in your glove box.
8. When you finally get an interview, you do all your research for the position the night before, curse the bags under your eyes the morning of, and blow off the interview at the last minute...
...because your cell battery died and you have no clue how to get anywhere without your Maps app.