3. You love Tom Brady enough to forgive those unfortunate Uggs ads.
4. You’ve been on a family ski vacation.
Even if no one in your family actually knows how to ski.
5. You can drive two hours in any direction and be in a new state.
Except if you’re in northern Maine, I guess. But still — compared to a state like Texas, driving through all of New England is a breeze.
7. You know at least one person whose entire house is furnished by Jordan’s.
Barry and Eliot: gods among men.
8. Singing the Bernie and Phyl’s jingle is like second nature.
“Quality, comfort, and price — that’s nice!”
9. You would never say hello to a stranger walking down the street.
I have somewhere to go. You have somewhere to go. There’s no need for us to interact.
10. You feel bad for people who don’t know the wonder of a New England lobster roll.
11. You’ve been on a school field trip to Old Sturbridge Village.
Or Plimoth Plantation.
12. You know that “wicked” is an adverb.
And it’s wicked annoying when people use it incorrectly.
13. You’re an aggressive driver.
Speed limit? More like minimum speed.
14. And you’re an aggressive pedestrian.
Basically, if you’re on or near a road, you’re going to be aggressive.
15. This is you, all winter long.
And sometimes even into the spring.
16. New England sports are a religious experience.
Sorry, western New England. You know it’s true.
18. You know that fluffernutters are the greatest sandwiches of all time.
Basically, New England is the most beautiful part of the country.