19 Things Americans May Find Baffling While Visiting Europe For The First Time

Traveling to a foreign country can be many things: amazing, intriguing, invigorating, humorous, exciting as well as scary and downright confusing. These are a few of the things I took notice of on my first trip through the ol' stompin' grounds.

1. Toilet seat covers are almost nonexistent.

Europe, you environmentally-conscious dog, you!

2. American Baseball Caps. EVERYWHERE.

ME- "Hey! You like the NY Yankees? I'm a SF Giants fan, myself. As long as you aren't an LA Dodger fan, we can be friends."

LOCAL (WEARING YANKEES HAT)- "Who are these Yankees you speak of?"

3. Needing a prescription for our general OTC drugs.

"Do you have a magical pill that will relieve my sinus infection symptoms for a few hours? A German-equivalent of Dayquil, if you will? No? Alright then, I'll take 7 boxes of cough drops and 4 nasal sprays, I guess..."

4. Hostels.

"Wait, explain to me what the difference between a college dorm and a youth hostel is again? Aren't they both equally soaked in the glory of Jägermeister and tomorrow's regrets?"

5. Water at a restaurant.

Sparkling or Still? Doesn't matter, you're payin' for it either way, SUCKERS!

6. The moving Stairways to Heaven.

"So, do you guys have a ban on elevators or something? Because, frankly, I am afraid of heights and I want to cry like a little b*tch right now."

7. Lederhosen.

"All I want for my birthday this year is a hunky Austrian man named Christoph in a pair of lederhosen who brings me liters of beer whenever I want. Is that too much to ask?"

8. Running into an Australian at every corner.

It's called a gap year, and I'm pretty sure every single Australian to ever live past the age of 16 has been on a trip that spans months, and some, even years. They also send the occasional dick pics. (or maybe that was just my "luck"?)

9. The average cost to use a toilet: €1.

For someone who has the bladder of a hamster, this is quite costly.

10. Public Transportation.

It is actually efficient and on time! *gasp* What a concept. Figuring out how to buy the damn tickets at the kiosks, however, is a completely different beast.

11. Contiki Tours.

Why didn't I hear about this traveling party when I was the eager, inexperienced 18 year old drinker who wanted to take body shots and flash her tits at foreign bartenders?

12. Country borders.

It's easier to visit a number of European countries in a short amount of time than it is to see a few states in the one country we call home. (And to think, our red-headed cousin, Alaska, isn't to blame this time.)

13. Why is it called a WC?

Why the hell do you call restrooms/toilettes a WC? Shall I Wash my Cooch in this stall? Is this the Wee Closet? Maybe the Washing Center? What about the room in which this Water device takes my bodily Cleanses?

So, it's a Water Closet. Whatever.

14. The Hunt for free WiFi.

Need to use your What's App or Viber App to call home or text that foreign booty? Your best bet is to find one of the almighty American franchises such as McDonalds or Starbucks.

15. Bars stay open past 2 A.M.

"Let's dance! Wait, what day is it?"

16. TO-GO boxes.

"So what you're saying is, that I CAN NOT, in fact, take that handful of pasta back to the hotel for a late night snack?"

17. Buildings and Cobblestone streets that are older than our Constitution.

After centuries of war and destruction, they prevail! Good job, Romans (and other civilizations of the past.)

18. Legally drinking in public.

Dear Europe,

For the love of god, adopt me. Please.

Sincerely,

An American beer enthusiast.

19. Languages.

Most Europeans speak AT LEAST two languages fluently. Which, in turn, makes most of us Americans seem daft. (those of you who speak numerous languages are obviously exempt.)