1. Mustaches—The Symbol of the Hipster Movement
Sure you could grow a mustache (boys), but why not go a step further with a permanent mustache tattoo?! Not only can you take eccentric photos like this, but you always have a reminder of how fun and different you are—forever.
2. Everything New is Old!
Look at all of this cool stuff, a tiny barrel for whiskey, a cook book to make food you could just go outside to buy, a wooden Iphone speaker?! So what if it’s an oxymoron, the important thing here is that all of this brand new, expensively priced and carefully marketed stuff LOOKS vintage.
3. Inefficient Means of Transportation
This shows everybody how much you care about the environment while simultaneously getting you to your destination as slow as possible—who cares you look really classy and like you aren’t trying too hard at all.
4. Required Hipster Uniform (Lenses Optional)
Ok, these are a no brainer—without the glasses you’re just another unimaginative 20-something who probably doesn’t know anything about politics or who Neutral Milk Hotel is. These glasses will give you intelligence, entitlement and condescension all at once!
5. “Organic” Cigarettes
A hipster trifecta in higher cost, faux health-awareness, and matches with that awesome navajo headband you “found” at the “thrift store” (Urban Outfitters).
6. Uncomfortably Hot Knits
It’s 90 Degrees outside? Let me just get my scarf. Weather has no effect on this type of hipster, fashion is important and everyone will be looking at you—not because of you’re sweaty face and stench, but because you take risks—and you don’t care what anyone thinks, obviously.
7. Childhood Nostalgia Enmeshed with the Hipster Persona
This is a Narwhal, it is by far the most unlikely animal, and you better love them. This one has a mustache AND a monocle, it doesn’t get any more hipster than that.
8. Hipsters Liked Cats before You
Yes, cats are everywhere, but that won’t last. Once everyone forgets about cats (the internet cat craze won’t last), you will be the loyal cat lover left exploiting them for Instagram and Vine. This thoughtful cat tattoo really says it all better than I can.
9. And Finally…PBR, the go-to Beer (Unless there’s any Expensive Craft Beer Available)
Like the quintessential hipster, shallow and tasteless with a false sense of entitlement.