Amanda* says: “This lady has clearly been working out at the gym almost as much as I do. I want to lose 10 pounds.”
Amanda* says: “Just like me, Beyoncé is twerking out. The ice in my iced coffee is melting though.”
Amanda* says: “I accidentally sat on Kim at an after-party because I thought she was an armoire.”
Amanda* says: “I COULD HAVE BEEN A BIGGER DEAL THAN MILEY CYRUS AND YOU ALL KNOW IT.”
Amanda* says: “Everyone knows Drake should be grinding on me so I don’t even know why Nicki Minaj is here.”
Amanda* says: “I’m being stalked by the paparazzi even when I just want to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at some nice sculptures and tan on the roof deck they follow me and look here they are pretending to take photos of some lady in a too-tight yellow dress when really it’s all about me in the background with my latte and shades.”
Amanda* says: What up? I don’t need to dress up, by the way, because I have piercings ON MY FACE. How punk is that?”
Amanda* says: “Posing with a fan because I’m nice like that.”
Amanda*: “All I want is a boyfriend who wants us to grow old and to get fat together. Wait, what were we supposed to be talking about I need to go back to the gym I want to lose 10 pounds.”
*This may (or may not) come as a surprise but neither the photos or accompanying quotes are real. But they are in our dreams, right?
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