Amanda* says: “I COULD HAVE BEEN A BIGGER DEAL THAN MILEY CYRUS AND YOU ALL KNOW IT.”
Amanda* says: “I’m being stalked by the paparazzi even when I just want to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at some nice sculptures and tan on the roof deck they follow me and look here they are pretending to take photos of some lady in a too-tight yellow dress when really it’s all about me in the background with my latte and shades.”
Amanda*: “All I want is a boyfriend who wants us to grow old and to get fat together. Wait, what were we supposed to be talking about I need to go back to the gym I want to lose 10 pounds.”
*This may (or may not) come as a surprise but neither the photos or accompanying quotes are real. But they are in our dreams, right?
- Republican John Kasich and Democrat Bernie Sanders won the first votes of the New Hampshire presidential primary. Polls close at 7 p.m. ET 🇺🇸
- At least 9 people are dead and 150 others injured after two trains collided in Bavaria, Germany, local police say.
- The Pentagon has confirmed that North Korea successfully launched a satellite into orbit on Sunday night.