Clive Palmer Takes Drastic Action After A Croc Bit A Guy At His Resort

    Billionaire politician takes decisive action after an elderly man was bitten by a crocodile on his golf course.

    Alex Lee
    by Alex Lee

    BuzzFeed News Reporter, Australia

    Most politicians use Twitter to post boring pictures, reach out to voters, or to clarify their stance on an important issue. But Clive Palmer isn't most politicians.

    Matt Roberts / Getty Images
    Clive Palmer @CliveFPalmer

    I would like to wish the well-known local man who was attacked by a crocodile in Port Douglas this afternoon a speedy recovery.

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    Clive Palmer @CliveFPalmer

    Crocodile has been removed from all menus at Palmer properties following today's incident with a member of our Port Douglas Golf Course

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    SO MANY QUESTIONS:

    Palmer Sea Reef / Facebook: 391840504228469

    1. Clive Palmer owns a golf course?

    2. Why are there crocodiles on his golf course?

    3. Who's the well-known man?

    4. Is he ok?

    5. How big was this crocodile?

    6. Why is Clive Palmer tweeting about this?

    7. Oh good, here's another tweet that will make everything perfectly clear. Wait, what?

    8. He's taken crocodile off the menu?

    9. There was crocodile on the menu in the first place?

    10. How is that in any way an appropriate response?

    11. Surely if anything there'd be more crocodiles on the menu after the attack?

    12. Did he think the crocodiles would be offended at being snubbed from the menu?

    13. And like, that would make them think twice about attacking people?

    14. Anyway, how many properties does this guy own?

    15. How many crocodiles does this guy own?

    16. What if Clive Palmer owned all the crocodiles?

    17. Would he saddle them all up and ride them into parliament like a croc chariot?

    18. Why is he so obsessed with reptiles?

    19. What's going to happen to the crocodile?

    20. Is it holed up in high-level talks with Clive Palmer trying to broker a peace deal?

    21. Or is it deep in a Coolum dungeon being waterboarded by a Palmer henchman?

    22. Can you even waterboard a crocodile?

    23. WHY DID HE TAKE CROCODILE OFF THE MENU???

    Here's what actually happened yesterday. It was another beautiful afternoon at the Palmer Sea Reef golf course near Port Douglas, north Queensland.

    Gary Lisbon / Facebook: 391840504228469

    Then, as an unsuspecting elderly golfer retrieved his ball from the water, the croc attacked.

    Palmer Sea Reef / Facebook: 391840504228469

    A 1.2 metre croc, not happy at having a 75-year-old man step on its head, bit the man on his calf. The golfer was treated for puncture wounds and taken to hospital.

    Ian Waldie / Getty Images

    It hasn't been a great year for Clive Palmer's tourism ventures. Last month, his giant T-Rex statue was the victim of an electrical fire.

    ABC News Brisbane @ABCNewsBrisbane

    Fire guts Jeff the dinosaur at Clive Palmer's Coolum resort. http://t.co/6dhiD8GO4j

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    And last week, a deer went on a rampage through Gold Coast streets after escaping from Clive Palmer's Avica resort.

    Nine News Brisbane @9NewsBrisbane

    Deer believed to be owned by Clive Palmer euthanised, after causing chaos in a Merrimac, Gold Coast, estate. #9News

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    FOR CHRIST'S SAKE GET OUT OF THE WAY CHERYL!!!

    But Clive Palmer seems to be taking crocs off the menu in a sign of solidarity rather than revenge. “Eating crocodile is a violent event against them and should be stopped,” he said in the The Cairns Post.

    Stefan Postles / Getty Images

    So maybe Clive Palmer taking crocodile off the menu isn't so crazy after all. He's not worried about getting bitten by a croc, he's worried about getting bitten by karma.

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