1. When a parent asks for your rate, you’re like “$1,000,000 an hour, but like whatever you’re comfortable with…”
3. When the parents leave, you immediately flip on ‘Yo Gabba Gabba!’ then beeline to check out the food situation.
5. WAIT, SERIOUSLY? NO TV? Fine. To the pantry! You have just a little, unnoticable bit of everything. Mu-wa-ha-ha-ha
6. Judge away, baby; the binge-snacking is our secret until you can speak.
9. Then the kids transform from cute angels to sugar-buzzed alien monsters and you think ‘my children will never act like thi—alright, where’s the ibeuprofen?’
10. Eventually, you find yourself bartering with children. “Two bedtime stories? Fine, three. Three stories, but you have to go right now.”
12. And then the kids are sleeping. This is the life. Ahh, tax-free bliss.
13. When parents offer you extra cab money as you leave, you’re like ‘gee, thanks so much!’ Then you take the subway anyway. Hooray!
14. Then you think ‘hmm maybe I’ll meet friends out, where I’ll sigh about how tired I am—as if I just came from a real job…’
Here Are The Top Stories
- Dylann Roof wants to plead guilty to the charges against him in the Charleston church shooting, his attorney said, but a judge entered a not guilty plea for him on Friday.
- The U.S. Coast Guard has suspended its search for two teenagers who went missing a week ago off the coast of Florida.
- Beijing will host the 2022 Winter Olympics, becoming the first city to host both the summer and winter games.