Dances That Even White Folks Can Do

Despite what Darrin Henson would have you believe, dancing is difficult. Especially for us honkies. But fear not, my Caucasian brethren. I have compiled a handy list of fallback dance moves for the next time you find yourself forced onto the floor.

• 1. The John Wall

  This dance, based on the NBA player of the same name, requires little more than flexing and pretending to shoot a basketball.

• 2. Movin' Like Bernie

  Based on the dead titular character from Weekend at Bernie's, this dance just means a lot of flopping around like a corpse that is being held up. Bonus White points if you do it while skiing

• 3. Smooky Dookie

  You just cover your nose and whirl your arms like you just smelled, well...a dookie.

• 4. The Fist Pump (Regional)

  Brought to mainstream attention by MTV's Jersey Shore, the fist pump has long been a white mainstay wherever there is a dancefloor...or parking lot.

• 5. The Fishstick

  For those of you who couldn't manage the previous entries, I saved the easiest for last. The Fishstick is a "dance" where you stand stock still and move your eyes.