1. The sound of birds chirping is NOT how you want to wake up.
2. And you don’t handle exhaustion well.
You need your beauty rest.
3. Your mom is nice to you and acknowledges your existence.
4. When you’re home, you don’t do many chores.
5. You don’t have an encouraging fairy godmother.
6. But your actual godmother sent you $50 for your birthday.
7. Pumpkins aren’t your primary mode of transportation.
8. You wish you could get ready like this.
9. And make a graceful entrance.
10. Instead of, well…
11. You don’t own a pair of glass slippers.
12. These don’t count.
If you own these, please throw them away.
13. When you go to an event, you don’t dance like this.
14. But more like this.
15. When you meet a guy you like, he won’t be a prince.
16. But at least he’ll have a real name.
Prince Charming. Not a name.
17. When you lose your shoe, it’s not actually cute.
18. And NO ONE will ever make an effort to return it to you.
19. Oh yeah, and you are not a princess.
20. But you have your own definition of living happily ever after.
- Britain marks 10 years since 52 people were killed in terrorist attacks in London.
- Bill Cosby testified in 2005 that he obtained sedatives to give to women he wanted to have sex with, the AP reports.
- The South Carolina legislature took a key step toward removing the Confederate flag from statehouse grounds.
- Reddit's CEO apologized for the site's "long history of mistakes."