1. The sound of birds chirping is NOT how you want to wake up.
2. And you don’t handle exhaustion well.
You need your beauty rest.
3. Your mom is nice to you and acknowledges your existence.
4. When you’re home, you don’t do many chores.
5. You don’t have an encouraging fairy godmother.
6. But your actual godmother sent you $50 for your birthday.
7. Pumpkins aren’t your primary mode of transportation.
8. You wish you could get ready like this.
9. And make a graceful entrance.
10. Instead of, well…
11. You don’t own a pair of glass slippers.
12. These don’t count.
If you own these, please throw them away.
13. When you go to an event, you don’t dance like this.
14. But more like this.
15. When you meet a guy you like, he won’t be a prince.
16. But at least he’ll have a real name.
Prince Charming. Not a name.
17. When you lose your shoe, it’s not actually cute.
18. And NO ONE will ever make an effort to return it to you.
19. Oh yeah, and you are not a princess.
20. But you have your own definition of living happily ever after.
- Dylann Roof wants to plead guilty to the charges against him in the Charleston church shooting, his attorney said, but a judge entered a not guilty plea for him on Friday.
- The U.S. Coast Guard has suspended its search for two teenagers who went missing a week ago off the coast of Florida.
- Beijing will host the 2022 Winter Olympics, becoming the first city to host both the summer and winter games.