1. You’ve heard the line, “I hate all men, they are assholes. EXCEPT FOR YOU!” over 1,000 times.
2. People automatically question your sexuality.
Like it’s any of their business.
3. When she gets cryptic messages from guys you become the expert guy-translator.
Yup, he wants to get in your pants. Don’t text back.
4. She always uses you as a fake boyfriend to ward off other men.
5. You tend to have a better sense of style than most men thanks to her fashion guidance.
6. You’ve bought tampons for her at least once and gotten judgmental looks.
7. You don’t cringe when you hear the word “vagina” because she’s always telling you about her period and visits to the gynecologist.
8. When you go out, you wait at least an hour for her to get ready.
9. If she invites all her girlfriends to the club you manage to get in with them for free.
10. One of the perks of having her around is that you can put stuff in her purse and never carry anything.
11. When she has a boyfriend you have to deal with him being jealous of your relationship all the time.
Sucks to be him.
12. You no longer dread shopping because it’s a fun activity when you go with her.
13. Thanks to her you now understand the frustration of bra sizing.
14. She always asks you for a man’s perspective on dating, even though there’s a 98% chance she’ll ignore it.
16. She tries ordering something healthier than you, but always ends up jacking your fries.
17. You’re the only guy she can trust when she needs an honest opinion because you don’t bullshit her.
18. If you ever need a last-minute date for a wedding you know you can count on her.
And it will be wickedly fun.
19. Your guy friends always ask if you can hook them up with her, but hell no because no one is good enough for your BFFL.
20. People always accuse you of being secretly in love with her.
Because God forbid that a man and woman can be friends.
21. Your devotion to her is always misinterpreted. You’re like brother and sister.
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