7 Ditchable Wedding Traditions

Tradition-Smishon. It's time to ditch the old school wedding customs and create some of your own!

1. Ditch The Script

kristaphoto.com / Via bespoke-bride.com

Your wedding ceremony is your moment to say...

'Hey, I really love you becuase you are you and we're pretty good together AND even when we're having a bad relationship day, I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather be giving the silent treatment to'.

So many couples miss the opportunity to ditch the traditional wedding vows and truly make those declarations of love and commitment their own.

Losing dramatic (and if we're going to be honest, unrealistic) phrases like 'Until death do us part' and instead replacing it with honest and funny vows that expresses who you are as a duo.

Got a favourite song lyric? Use it.

Like a quote from Mad Men? Ummm, yes please!

How about channeling your inner Walter White...'SAY MY NAME' ...ok, maybe not that one but get creative and make sure the contents of your wedding ceremony aren't an afterthought.

2. Ditch the White Dress

claudiarosecarter.co.uk / Via lovemydress.net

White? Ivory? Pearl? Snore.

Ditch it.

A pop of colour, a vibrant pattern, really opens the proverbial doors to amazing wedding dress/jumpsuit possibilities.

Wear what makes YOU feel gorgeous and comfortable on your wedding day.

It’s YOUR day to shine.

Not what a magazine or blog tells you to wear.

YOU want to look and feel like a jazzed up version of you, not a character.

Like a sleeve? Go for it.

Skirt/ top combo? Yes please!

Have a nice set of abs you've been working on and want to rock a two piece?...OK well you're just showing off now.

YOU want to look back on these photographs and think 'Gee whiz, I looked smashing', not, 'Why in the hell are my boobs hanging out and the colour is awful on me?'

Own it.

(Dress by Wendy Makin)

3. Ditch the Dad Handover

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I’m sure your Dad is THE best. A top dude who tells a bunch of hilarious jokes and you should SO include him in your wedding celebrations BUT there are 50 other ways he can get a look in without perpetuating the antiquated tradition of ‘giving away the bride’.

In ye olden days women were considered to be their father's property until they got married and then became their husband's property.

Gross.

Of course we don’t believe that now…do we?

So why should we carry on this tradition?

Let’s mix it up. Consider creating a new tradition…

Walk solo. Own it girl.

Walk in with your partner.

Take a Jewish custom… walk down the aisle with both of your parents.

If you’re having Brideslaves, walk with your ladies.

or

Ditch the aisle completely!

I DARE YOU!

'Take tradition and decorate it your own way.'

–Carrie Bradshaw

4. Ditch the Parental Financial Contribution

milouandolin.com / Via ruffledblog.com

*98% of family wedding arguments happen over money.

*OK, I just made that statistic up, however, most stresses around financial contributions, with what I call conditional generosity a phenomenon that happens when a sort of parental power play occurs whereby they give you cash but want to control certain aspects of the wedding. For example inviting their neighbours, or Jan from Bridge Club (who you Mum secretly hates but she wants to show Jan how successful you are and how much better you are than Jan's daughter Carol) and pushing you into having the event at the local country club becuase 'they can a discount'.

Settle down parents. Settle down.

This can be easily be alleviated by removing that factor all together... e.g. pay for the hitching yourselves OR by sitting down and having a frank and honest chat about where their money is going and what sort of wedding you would like before you start to spend it.

If they are going to be pushy and you feel like this will encroach on your plans, then perhaps start saving.

5. Ditch the Obligation Guests

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Have you ever felt guilty for being a guest at a wedding? An obligation guest? As a co-worker, uni-friend, second cousin?

I know I have.

Me being at their wedding probably cost them $150.

Sure, I had a fab time but I saw them for three minutes on the day, drank all their champagne and I haven’t seen them since. Guilt trip much?

The best advice we were given when planning our invite list was that 'wedding guests should be people that you want in your future, not just your past'.

Don’t invite anyone you have to pretend to be happy to see.

Your wedding day is a day you shouldn’t have to fake smile at ALL. That shit should be real.

Like a wardrobe clean out, if you haven’t seen a friend in years, cut them free. If you don’t know their kids’ names or have their current address, forget it. Just because you re-kindled a friendship on Facebook doesn’t mean they get to come to your wedding.

Celebrating your union with an intimate group of people you dig is far more cost effective and awesome than a big group of acquaintances.

6. Ditch The Bridal Shower

950s promotional advert for Tupperware / Via vintageandmain.blogspot.co.uk

Traditionally Bridal Showers were held to ensure that a couple had the right household resources to start a life together.

Fine. OK.

That totally fits with the last 300 or so years but now a majority of couples live together before they get married and own their own spatulas and mixing bowls and dare I say, share daily domestic duties.

From a feminist perspective, Bridal Showers can easily be construed as unbalanced, oppressive events where women play parlour games and then sit in circles golf clapping, whilst the bride unwraps an oven tray.

Ok, perhaps they aren't all like that... but this tradition is O.L.D. old.

Perhaps modern chicks tolerate this tradition to appease the olds and get some more free stuff, however if it isn't your bag, ditch the event entirely or mould it into a happening that you would want to attend .e.g a party that doesn't contain the phrase 'burping seal'.

7. Ditch the Whole Wedding & Elope

silvanadifranco.com / Via bridalmusings.com

Contro, I know.

But stick with me...

Less cash.

Less dramaz.

Less stress.

According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding is around $29,000.

For many people that's a good chunk of their salary.

That’s you doing the commute,sitting at your desk, hearing that infuriating ringtone from the guy that sits three desks away from you 12 times a day, bringing your lunch, saving your pennies all to pay for 200 of your closest friends dinner, a fancy frock and a band. Perhaps (hopefully) you love your job but when it comes down to it, is a whole year of your working life, (and even getting into debt) worth committing to a wedding?

Maybe instead you'd like to hop a plane to a faraway destination (or drive to the town hall), invite your nearest and dearest, or no one at all?

This is unintentionally starting to sound like a Dr Zeus rhyme...

Eloping may not be everyone's cup of tea...it will no doubt ruffle some family feathers but ultimately your wedding day is about two people...you and the other person who tolerates you...and with any luck loves the shit out of you.

Remember, if you do choose to elope (right on) then there is always opportunities to party when you get home without the hassle and stress of a big, showy wedding.