Nine Years On, People Are Still Posting Ridiculous Fake Reviews Of This Tank On Amazon

It was first put on sale in 2005. But it’s hardly surprising the internet loves it.

1. So you can apparently buy this on Amazon for a mere $19,999.95.

It’s a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank.

2. Not only does it have an armoured shell…

3. IT HAS A 400 WATT SOUND SYSTEM. And it lights up like this, seats five people, and is “fully carpeted and cozy.”

The description says: “Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions.”

4. But the best thing has to be the entries on its Amazon site. For a start, there’s the customer questions section:

8. But the reviews are even better. Some are positive. From “Worth 10x the Price”:


I was skeptical at first…can you really buy a tank and be allowed to drive it around town. Turns out that “legally” you can’t. But it does have some other great benefits:

1. Every single person I have had an issue with is now afraid of me. It’s not that quiet respect kind of thing either, these people are petrified of me. My neighbors used to get mad when the dog “Wally” would use their yard as a bathroom — not any more. In fact, they don’t get mad when I do it either.

2. The gas mileage isn’t that great, but I haven’t stopped for a traffic light/stop sign for the six months I’ve owned the JL421. Actually, I haven’t even bothered to slow down….people just seem to get out of the way. The police escorts have been a welcomed suprise, but they would be more efficient in front of me instead of following behind.

9. From “Finally, a tank you can trust”:


I’ll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting. Many times in the past I’ve purchased overpriced, so-called “battle tanks”, then driven them into battle only to be wrecked in ten minutes by the first blow off of some insurgents home-made morter.

But not this baby, no way.

This tank R-O-C-K-S! Literally- the 400-watt sound-system keeps me rockin like a crazy man as I’m dishing out justice commando style. Wow. I just can’t say enough. And the kids love it, too- imagine the look of terror in the eyes of the enemy as I’m dropping off my kid’s team to their soccer game. Shock and awe, my friends, SHOCK AND AWE!

10. From “This is no Clone…it’s the real deal!!


This Hummer-replacement is at home anywhere, from the swamps of Dagobah, to the Jundland Wastes, to the driveway of my McMansion! As a proud owner, I want to share some of the pros and cons to Badonkadonk ownership:

PROS
——-
* With room for five, it easily accommodates my 2.5 kids, as well as our new R2 unit (though, R2 does have to be secured externally on long family road trips).
*The centrifugal clutch is a dream, giving you easy and confident access to all 13 gears. It’s a transmission built for every Wookie.
*The pivoting joystick is a blessing in disguise. With a small boy still in diapers, it can get pretty ripe in the crew quarters. No problem, just pop the hatch and drive from the exposed standing position. It’s a breath of fresh air, literally.
*With a small upgrade to the repulsor lift I no longer have to parallel park…now I just park OVER everyone else!

11. But others are negative. From: “easily blown to kingdom come”:


I am an acquisitions officer for an artillery unit in the Russian Army. Since mafia hooligans stole all of our equipment to sell to Kyrgyzstani rebels, we have been looking for a low-cost alternative to the T-80 Main Battle Tank. After successful trials at a facility in Moscow, this so-called “Badonkadonk” was approved for use in the Chechen theatre. Initial reports were favorable, but then somebody noticed that the tank lacked a cannon, treads, and armor, and possessed the engine of an electric bicycle. It did, however, have an excellent audio system, but this failed to compensate for its disappointing 100% mortality rate.

12. From: “Buyer Beware: This product does not come equipped with a weapon


What good is a tank without an attached gun? I was forced to hang my arm out the window with my index finger and thumb extended in the “Pantomime Gun” gesture while squeaking out “Pyew! Pyew!” in a shrill falsetto.

This did little to instill fear in my enemies.

13. And they’re still coming at a healthy rate.


There have been 50 in the last two days. Who’d have thought the Internet would love a ridiculous looking tank with a powerful sound system? Ok, maybe it’s not that surprising. And if you want to get real info on the tank, you can always visit the official site.

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