21 Things That Drunk People Did In 2014

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    1. Tried to have sex with an ATM and a picnic table.

    2. Got their head stuck in a bottle bank.

    3. Tried to eat a set of breathalyser test results.

    4. Tried to walk up a hill.

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    5. Fell asleep in a urinal.

    6. Went for a crap behind a creperie.

    7. Tried to commute home on a stolen bulldozer.

    8. Tried to "drive it off".

    9. Tried to get past a fence and created a video that summed up the futility of human existence.

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    10. Claimed their dog drove them to the store.

    11. Moonwalked down a bowling lane and tried to start a fight.

    12. Tried to have sex with a train drinks trolley.

    13. Mistook a police officer for a stripper.

    15. Confused jail for a bar.

    16. Told a police dog to "Bring it on".

    18. Fell asleep on a radiator and melted their arm.

    19. Dressed as a zombie Santa Claus and terrified some teens.

    20. Drove the wrong way down the A1 for eight miles.

    21. Tried to save an alligator and got 80 stitches in the process.