1. You have a really devoted fan base.
2. But these days you're so manly you can't even call at someone's house without damaging their face.
(This film is out on Friday by the way and looks amazing).
3. Frankly this is a nightmare scenario for you.
Idea for movie: Liam Neeson gets kidnapped and there's nobody qualified to find him.
4. Even your yawning scares people.
5. You've killed so many people that actual maps of where you did it are being made.
6. You're so manly you're not even a man, you're a genre.
7. And it wasn't always like this.
Hi, I'm Liam Neeson. You may remember me from Schindler's List, but today I'm here to talk to you about punching people in the face.
8. Indeed, some would say you're a little intense.
9. It means even having a pet can be traumatic.
10. And your unusual conception of quid pro quo is affecting your personal relationships.
11. Including those with your fellow actors.
12. Frankly, you're running out of people to fight.
I can't wait for Alien vs. Predator vs. Liam Neeson.
13. You're even taking requests now.
View this video on YouTube
14. You're just a very determined man.
15. Perhaps the problem is you're getting on a bit...
Liam Neeson! Pushing the age limit of believable fighting prowess since 1998!
16. And that just means everything annoys you. Flies...
17. ...games of hide and seek...
18. ...prank calls...
19. ...people getting the wrong number...
20. ...the fact there are simply too many Liams in the world...
21. It's just not easy for Liam Neesons. It's not easy at all.
