This is the adult movie actress Kayden Kross.
But you should really get to know her from her Twitter account.
1. Because her thoughts about the internet are largely on point.
The Internet mostly just allows a lot more complete strangers be mean to other complete strangers, and then sometimes Wikipedia is useful.
2. Her literary allusions are 10/10.
3. She gives you a side of porn you never see.
@TheBoxStuffer I don’t know whether I’m more shocked that I have a love doll or that it’s on groupon
4.
5. And, indeed, sex generally.
A cool thing about dating a guy who has a dildo molded after his penis is you can get DP’d w/ out putting an extra place setting @ the table
6.
My boyfriend lost his phone under his ballsack today.
7. She's honest about her limitations.
This is the McDonalds I used to work at. I was the girl in headphones fucking up your order. http://t.co/j3YJ6TOPvZ
8. She's an expert at trolling her boyfriend.
I wish @manuelferrara would stop focusing on all the times I asked him to buy a $12k rug and start focusing on all the blow jobs.
9.
After dating, moving in together, becoming engaged, and having a child with me, @manuelferrara has finally accepted my friend request on FB.
10. She worries about the youth of today.
11. She describes her domestic woes superbly.
Well I just shot myself in the face with breast milk. So that was humbling.
12.
Dear UPS: it sort of defeats the purpose when you put an entire box under the doormat, but thank you for the attempt at heightened security.
13.
I'm going to make a rap video called "who let the dogs in" and instead of barking I'm just going to complain about the mess.
14. And above all, she asks the important questions.
Scale of 1-10 how frivolous would you consider this purchase?
15.
Masseuse: do you want me to keep massaging your back or turn you over? Me: what do you massage if you turn me over? Masseuse: never mind.
16. So give her a follow. Though be warned, she does tweet quite a lot of naughty stuff.
I’m doing vagina-related stuff tomorrow.
You know the sort of thing.