1. Tween problem: Overplucking your eyebrows to death.
Bonus points if you were also guilty of that weird little hook shape (known in some circles as “the sperm”).
Grown-up solution: Fill in sad patchy brows with powder.
2. Tween problem: Too much heat-styling.
Whether it was trying in vain to get princess-like curls or flattening your hair into singed submission, RIP your follicles :(
Grown-up solution: Embrace your hair’s natural texture.
3. Tween problem: Raccoon eyeliner.
You’d line that inner rim until YOUR EYEBALLS BLED.
Grown-up solution: Try a simple cat-eye.
Nary a hint of liner needs to trek below your eye.
4. Tween problem: Braces that made it look like your teeth were sprouting fungus.
And shimmery lipgloss to match, obvs.
Grown-up solution: Basic, ignorable grey.
Hey, there’s no shame in adult braces; flaunt that shit. Just maybe try to avoid the all-too-common blue-food-stuck-in-your-teeth look brought on by overly colorful rubber bands.
5. Tween problem: Caring SO MUCH about what brand your lipgloss was.
MAC Lipglass meant you were ~classy~, Victoria’s Secret Beauty Rush meant you were ~sexy~, and all those heavy Stila twist-up contraptions meant that you’d surreptitiously lick your lips all day long.
Grown-up solution: Dance what you feel.
Yo, if it works for you, it works. And drugstore brands make some pretty fantastic products as well.
6. Tween problem: Hairstyles so tight they caused actual pain.
That scream is the result of scalp pressure + angst.
Grown-up solution: A low, easy style you can completely forget about when it’s done.
Like a regular ponytail. Or a regular bun. Or awesomely short hair that does whatever it wants. Or the tried-and-true run-out-the-door-with-a-soaking-wet-mop-on-your-head-and-hope-for-the-best technique — truly, anything’s better than trying way too hard only to get massive headaches.
Grown-up solution: Carefully deployed glitter.
OK, I lied, there isn’t technically such a thing as too much glitter. But when painful chunks are raining into your eyes and staying attached to your clothes for the rest of eternity, nobody wins. A streak of liquid glitter liner is a solid way to maximize sparkle and minimize disaster.
Grown-up solution: Chill.
Makeup can be the most delightful thing in the world, as long as it’s not running your life the way it sometimes did at the tender age of 11 and a half. So invest in a good set of brushes (key for blending/not looking like a mannequin in photos), thank the alpha and omega that you never need to slow-dance in a gym again, and rock on.
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