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21 Ways “The Sims” Lied To You About Your Future Home

Having all of this unlimited money is so hard.

1. It’s not this easy to scrape up a down payment.

2. (This won’t work either.)

3. You can’t pause time and make your dream house appear.

4. Appliances take slightly more time and effort to install.

“Yeah, I just plopped down this enormous trash compactor, no big.”

5. You can have sex* in places besides heart-shaped beds.

*Excuse me, “WooHoo.”

6. Or hot tubs.

Hot tub sex is actually hella gross.

7. No mirror has this much power.

8. And your dresser can’t possibly contain all the clothing options in the known universe.

9. It’s not this easy to get some quick cash.

10. You can’t see into every room of your house at once.

Which makes it harder to tell if your husband is groping the maid.

11. You can’t have a bubble hookah.

No matter how badly you want one.

12. Tiki wallpaper IS NEVER OK.

13. YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE A DEATH ROOM THIS IS NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR.

14. This is, luckily, not a problem for you.

I assume.

17. You can totally arrange your furniture diagonally.

We’re not slaves to the grid!!!

18. This is not good parenting.

19. Your place will probably never be this nice.

20. Especially because of this essential problem.

21. But ultimately, we’re not really so different.

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