The 18 Most Insane Sex Toys For Sale On Etsy

Do. It. Yourself.

1. Crocheted Dildo/Granny Square

“Fun Stripe.” Available here.

ID: 1147299

2. Jesus Dildo

Its maker describes it as “a hunk of pious penis art,” so do with that what you will.

ID: 1147302

3. Diletto Stiletto

Wow/ow. Available here.

ID: 1147342

4. Butt Plug Tail

It’s on sale for summer.

ID: 1225493

5. Secret Sex-Toy-Compartment Tissue Box

Plus, the tissues will probably come in handy.

ID: 1147345

6. Confetti Dildo

Can I just say how happy I am to have finally managed to type that phrase in a semi-professional setting.

ID: 1225503

7. Handmade Leather Flogger

Lovingly crafted.

ID: 1225435

8. Truly Terrifying Glass Dildo

It’s dishwasher-safe.

ID: 1225446

9. Even More Terrifying Bunny Monster Dildo

Get it here, I guess, ugh, maybe.

ID: 1225473

10. Easter Island Butt Plug

For the explorer in you.

ID: 1225467

11. Homemade Edible Lube.

Mm. Available here.

ID: 1225701

12. Dildo/Bottle Opener

Sometimes you have to multitask.

ID: 1225520

14. Terracotta Finger Dildo

You can also wear it as jewelry.

ID: 1225486

15. Crocheted Strap-On Harness

Great for keeping your granny square dildo in place. Available here.

ID: 1225515

16. Hulk Penis

That’s not the actual name, but tell me I’m wrong.

ID: 1225499

17. Zombie Finger Dildo

Dance what you feel.

ID: 1225507

18. “Rubber Love” Embroidery

Oh Etsy, never change.

ID: 1225513

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