5. By faking your own death.
“You make my heart beat so fast that in return, I’d like to give you a heart attack.”
9. With a digested ring.
(In 2007, a guy in England stole a platinum engagement ring for his girlfriend by swallowing it at a jewelry store. Police waited for three days for the ring to, in the words of the article, “emerge.”)
“I mean, I guess I could have bought one of those lame blue boxes, but I thought my own small intestine was way more romantic.”
10. Maybe we should just leave food out entirely.
” :( “
This is the tweet (which, for the record, worked).December 16, 2012
“If I spent more than 140 characters on this shit, sugarpie, we wouldn’t be young and beautiful anymore.”
17. On the open water.
(This Michigan man had the romantic idea of proposing to his girlfriend on a canoe trip, which went horribly awry when they got stranded miles from shore and had to call 911.)
“Babydoll, I know you’re seasick, but just know that my feelings for you burn brighter than these emergency flares that we just ran out of.”
She said yes, by the way.
- Venezuela is reporting hospitalizations and three deaths as the Zika virus, which is linked to birth defects, spreads.
- Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders clashed on immigration, Obama, and Kissinger (!) in Thursday's Democratic debate 🇺🇸
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz.