1. How to do your taxes.
WHAT IS A W-2 IS IT DIFFERENT FROM A W-4 THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HELL MUST BE LIKE.
(Luckily there are programs like TurboTax that will hold your hand all the way through.)
2. How to chop vegetables without stabbing yourself.
Unless, of course, you went to culinary school.
3. How to apply/interview for/get an actual job.
“I don’t have a resume but I do have this handwritten list of my favorite tweets.”
4. How to flirt/even remotely consider talking to someone you’re attracted to.
Step 1: This.
5. All the weird things in your house that you never knew you were supposed to clean.
6. Basic self-defense.
Hopefully you’ll never need to use these tricks, but best to be prepared.
7. How to speak dog.
Waaaay more important than English or Spanish or any of those other languages they try to teach you.
By Lili Chin (you can buy full-size posters or donate at her website to fund Boston Terrier rescue).
8. How to look like a human when applying eyeliner.
Look, it’s math!!
13. One easy, consistently excellent recipe.
The cool thing about spaghetti carbonara is that you probably already have eggs, bacon, cheese, and pasta, and also you can marry it and spend the rest of your life with it.
16. How to salvage your favorite articles of clothing.
So they’re not resigned to rag duty or the trash.
17. Basic coding skills.
WHO ARE ALL THESE TEENS AND WHY ARE THEY APP-MILLIONAIRES. Online tutorials like Code Academy can help you catch up.
18. How to successfully navigate the terrifying minefield that is the entire internet.
The accidental Instagram-like is another common culprit.