15. Scott McGillivray
Not only will he help you monetize your house on Income Property (YOU CAN TOTALLY RENT OUT THAT WEIRD DUSTY CORNER OF YOUR LIVING ROOM AND MAKE MAD BANK), his hair does ~that~. Loses points for Canadianness.
14. Chip Wade
Those pecs (and that head) are as smooth as a well-sanded crown molding. Even though he’s been on roughly 12 million HGTV shows, including Curb Appeal: The Block and Elbow Room, he still somehow has time to work out five or six times a week, apparently on some driftwood.
13. Chris Lambton
The Bachelorette contestant turned landscaping host obvi knows a thing or two about romance (especially considering that his wife, Peyton Wright, was a Bachelor contestant, which sounds like a really fun first date conversation starter).
12. Jonathan Scott
‘Sup Property Brothers? (Also Canadian, apparently they are raising them properly up North and we should all take notes.) A) Great dogs. B) Great dimples. C) According to IMDB, Jonathan was once “one of the world’s youngest international illusionists,” so sign me up.
11. Drew Scott
“But!” you protest, “They’re identical twins! How could you possibly rank one above the other?!” Pipe down and imagine running your hands through Drew’s perfectly spiky hair and then get back to me.
9. David Bromstad
When he won the first season of Design Star he also won a one-way ticket to Pantydropville. Plus who can resist a dude who isn’t afraid of — nay, embraces — color?
8. John Colaneri
This Kitchen Cousin will caulk your countertops, and he’ll caulk them good.
7. Anthony Carrino
The other half of Kitchen Cousins, who has just a teensy bit more swagger than John (sry but it’s true).
6. Ahmed Hassan
The day he was unceremoniously replaced on Yard Crashers, the home- and garden- and hot-guy-appreciating world wept.
5. John Gidding
Homeslice has major curb appeal.
4. Brian Patrick Flynn
“Ceiling fans: facepunch
Fake flowers: jail time
Wall decals: freshmen
Art from Pier 1: Communism.”
If that’s not love I don’t know what is.
3. Carter Oosterhouse
Million Dollar Rooms? More like Million Dollar Drown Me In The Infinite Limpid Pools Of Your Eyes.
2. Marc Bartolomeo
The electrician-cum-cook-cum-native-New-York-hunk was also, in his youth, a male model. Shocking.
1. Jamie Durie
Walk us through those dreamy outdoor rooms, Jamie. Show us the vertical garden, listen to the soft burble of the several inexplicable fountains ringing the dining table. Lay us onto that perfectly waterproof-yet-comfy sofa, light a citronella candle or three, and let nobody but nature see what ensues.
(Also, hand to God: He was born in Manly, Australia.)