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    Hey Stores: It's Way Too Early For Christmas

    SLOW. YOUR. ROLL.

    Alanna Okun
    by Alanna Okun

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Hi guys! Happy fall!

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    You know, "fall." That all-too-brief sliver of time between summer and winter.

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    When some people go back to school and others clean out their closets; when, in some parts of the world, leaves turn violently perfect colors before descending into little more than crunchy garbage heaps.

    It's the time for Halloween.

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    And Thanksgiving.

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    And sports.

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    (I have heard.)

    But you know what it is not the time for? CHRISTMAS.

    Mards @mardiithomas

    IT'S WAY TOO EARLY FOR CHRISTMAS STUFF, WALMART.

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    Don't get me wrong: Christmas is magical / the absolute best.

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    Look how happy these guys are, and they don't even have opposable thumbs! But part of that joy is that it's supposed to be a concentrated burst. If you're inundated with boughs of holly three months in advance, it all gets diluted. We're in such a dang hurry to jump from one thing to the next.

    Of course it's your life — blast "Silent Night" year round, wrap yourself in 100 feet of twinkle lights, eat nothing but chestnuts roasting on open fires — but do it in the privacy of your own home. (Maaaaybe car.) Retail stores are PUBLIC SPACES, dammit, and should respect the rights of folks who want their holidays one at a time!!!!!

    Some offenders put their crap up in JUNE.

    Or roll it out in August.

    But honestly, even September is too early.

    Because this kind of seasonal mixing is an abomination.

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    But the day after Thanksgiving?

    LET THE REINDEER GAMES BEGIN.