1. Cro-Magnon unibrows.
Bonus points if you made it well into your teenage years before anyone ever had the heart to tell you about the caterpillar slumbering on your forehead.
2. And then, at the other end of the spectrum, plucking/shaving/waxing them into nothing.
3. Applying makeup while drunk.
“Omg I look hic soooo goooood.”
4. Highlights that turn out way too chunky.
“THE BOX SAID SUBTLY SUNKISSED.”
6. Trying one of those Pinterest eye looks with, like, 15 colors and realizing you look like a Crayola factory.
7. Bad ombre.
A cheap and easy way to do this yourself is to dunk your ponytail in a vat of bleach*!!
*Do not do this.
8. Going to a really cheap salon and getting what you paid for.
Beautiful, lustrous locks have come out of such places — so have tears, pain, and despair.
9. Smudgey horrible black eyeliner all around your entire eye socket.
Bonus points if you happened to cry, sweat, or otherwise smudge further over the course of the day.
11. Overly enthusiastic tanning.
♫ One of these things is not like the others / one of these things has been exposed to potentially carcinogenic UV rays and strongly resembles an Oompa-Loompa ♫
12. Wearing glitter that gets in your eye and feels like the world is ending.
13. Makeup that makes you look way older than you really are.
Unless, of course, that’s the goal.
14. Contouring/highlighting gone awry.
15. Spider lashes.
16. Lip liner that doesn’t match the rest of your mouth.
aaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaahhhhhhh x 2.
17. Waxing your ‘stache and taking half your face skin along with it.
18. Buying waterproof eye makeup that refuses to budge no matter what you do.
Guess it’s staying there forever.
19. And foundation that’s totally the wrong color.
Halfway between “pumpkin” and “ghost” lies your true shade.
20. Trimming your own bangs, only they’re uneven so you cut a little more, and then you have to straighten the other side, and then all of a sudden you are left with teensy forehead tufts that make you look like a Dr. Suess character.
21. Two words: Tooth. Lipstick.
Words that, when combined, strike fear into the heart of any makeup-wearer. This is the worst because no matter how old and wise you get, no matter how skilled with a curling iron or deft with a mascara wand, this remains a very real threat. Always be on the alert.